Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Reasons Why He Didn't Reply

To name the most common reasons why a macho dancer or hosto didn't reply to your text message (or didn't text at all):
In light of Stewart's very late reply a full day and night (24+ hours) after our supposed meet-up

1. Nawalan ng load - TOP reason and easiest justification of not texting you back
    > Making you think twice if you want to send him some load... or a ploy to make you send him some
    > Caution though, sending him some load might backlash if you expect that he use the load you sent him just for you. He still has friends and family to text also, remember.

2. Na-low bat ako / Naka-patay ang phone / Charging - It's not my fault; it's the phone's fault!
    a. Variation 1: Sira ang phone / Luma na ang phone
    > Well, most will tell you honestly about the state of their phones. But take care. Sometimes this is a ploy to buy him a brand new phone, preferrably an iPhone or BB or any new smart phone in the market.
    b. Variation 2: Sinangla ang phone
    > I never knew that pawnshops accepted cellphones already (since late 90s pa ba?). Well, I've seen 2nd hand cellphones being sold, but not pawned. As per the boys who've actually pawned their phones, oftentimes, they just let go of their quite expensive phones in the pawnshop, hoping to receive a new one (from you or another guest). But, they eventually buy a cheaper model (from their earnings, or from poor you who was sympathetic enough to give him enough money to buy back the expensive phone but traded for a cheaper one).

3. Sori tulog pa / Nakatulog ako kagabi - Don't you know my sched?
    > Especially if you text him between 9am and 5pm. You naman kasi, you know naman their night shift schedule diba, so what do you expect.
   > Doubt though if he replies with this message the next morning. Again, you have an idea of their schedule and your boy's general sleeping-waking patterns.

4. Nagbibihis / Nagpa-plantsa ng buhok - I need to look good, that's why you like me. 
    > Looking good is important in this industry. You'll usually receive this after their call time of 9-10pm. But if he replies at 1am with this message, you need to think twice if he's telling you the truth. Unless he is THAT vain.
    a. Variation: Kumain muna.
    > He's usually honest about this, especially if the lag period is about 30 minutes to an hour. He'll even follow up with "ikaw, kumain na ba?" Sweet, I know.

5. Sumasayaw or Rumampa kanina (and replies a few hours after with: "kakatapos ko lang sumayaw")
   > One of the more honest replies from him. Especially if sent between 11-12 midnight, or at about 2-4 am.

6. Naka-table ako / May guest ako na dumating - I am at work. Busy. Focused. Just like you at work.
   > One of the more honest replies from him. Especially if sent between 1-4 am. As a guest, you don't want your tabled macho dancer or hosto to be texting while you are there. That's why most keep their phones hidden -- in their boots, at the side of their boxer shorts, pants, or with the wardrobe personnel.
  > If you're not the understanding type (ie. selosa/seloso), you'll be in endless discussion with him on the type of work that he is in, and that you, of all people, should understand it. So the next time you ask, he might just lie to you instead of telling you that he was tabled by a customer that time

7. May sakit ako kaya hindi naka-reply
   > Give him the benefit of the doubt. He might not have any load at that time and was not well enough to get out of bed to the nearest sari-sari store to purchase some load. Of course, he won't explain it to you that way. But when you get sick, isn't it easy enough to at least inform the other party of your slight fever, to quell any of their worries (assuming you have load)?

8. Bumabiyahe pa / Nasa jeep or bus or FX or LRT ako -- Don't text me when I am in transit, for many reasons...
   > Their reasons: Phone might get stolen if I use it while in transit. Or I didn't hear the message tone. Or I was asleep while commuting. Or I can't reply when another guest of mine is bringing me to work in his/her car (of course, they won't say that to you).

9. Busy / May pinuntahan / Nag gym ako -- I have errands too, you know.
   > If you probe him further on this one, he'll either blast you with a litany on what happened to him that day (honest or fabricated, seeking empathy or simply ranting) or just shut you out with a "basta."

10. Other absurd reason he'll give to make you feel he hasn't forgetten you (or hasn't flirted with some other guest)
    > Combination of three or more reasons mentioned above - Sure, give him the benefit of the doubt.    
    > Kinagat ng daga, kaya nag punta sa ospital at etc etc -- a private joke among my friends, as replied by one of the boys. But, as absurd as it sounds, really? Ouch!
    > Nabasa ang phone -- Did the guys go swimming between last night we met and this morning?
    > Nakipagkita sa kapatid / tito / pinsan / barkada / (insert relative's or friend's name) - Even if it took the entire day or night or weekend for him to reply, he will never mention that it was another guest he met up with.

But remember Occum's Razor. Loosely summarized, "The simplest answer is usually the correct answer."

Guess which one was Stewart's reply to me.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
email: char.affairs@gmail.com 
Follow at twitter: @gbgoer

Photocredit: http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=24065084


  1. did you ever experience times when they would be late when meeting with you?

  2. yes. that's usual. but not as late as my other friend... who waited for 2-3 hours.

    that's a good topic -- top reasons why they are late on their dates. and i have some very good reasons.


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