Friday, January 14, 2011

Blushing Bride-to-be Who Kept Count

One of the more frequent guests in a macho dancer bar is the bride-to-be and her entourage. It's a bridal shower, without the need to plan much, except for a few text messages confirming the date and venue.

Home Base was our choice last Thursday night when we decided to treat our blushing bride-to-be officemate, "Jennica." She has never been in any gay bar, and I suppose most brides-to-be haven't yet as well (except if they were part of the entourage of another bride-to-be).

Anyway, Jennica was seated beside me. After about an hour into the show with the usual boxer-brief-clad dancers, one of the tigas or all-the-way (ATW) boys went out, around 11, which was early on a weeknight. He did his routine.

A blushing bride
Jennica shrieked, "OMG! Tatlo na ang nakita kong ets sa buong buhay ko!" (Oh My God! I now have seen three dicks in my entire life!)

I didn't want to ask who the other two were. Buti pa siya. I couldn't even count how many were mine.

Then another ATW boy stepped on stage. He unveiled his ware.

Jennica exclaimed, "Shucks, grabe, ang laki!" (Shucks, it's so huge!)

The ATW boy possibly heard her, as it made him look at her. He went nearer our area, with his stiff wang hanging out. At this point, I observed her. She was speechless, with shifty eyes, looking up, then down, faced slightly left, then looked up again. Once the ATW boy went to the other part of the stage, I disrupted her state of shock.

Jennica: "Ayyy ______!!! (my real name, and she forgot that I used an alias. Thanks for outing my real identity) Tumingin siya sa akin! Di ako makatingin sa kanya. Di ko rin alam saan titingin. Ayoko naman sa ets nya. Kaya sa pole na lang."

I laughed. That was even a bigger phallic symbol.

So I asked, "Ayan, nakailan ka na?" (How many have you got already?)

Jennica replied, "Apat na! Grabe, na-doble na ang nakita kong ets sa buong buhay ko, sa isang gabi lang!" (Four already. Gravitation, the number of dicks I have seen already doubled, in just one night!)

After two sets of more "wholesome" dancers, a pair of ATW guys in bikinis, stepped on-stage. I knew she was in for more surprises.

"Six na! Six!" Jennica said, not only to me, but also to my other officemates.

I was wondering if my officemates were also doing their own counting. Perhaps not anymore, as one was a very much sexperienced gay guy, and another was a very much sexperienced gay woman (babaeng bakla). I also wondered if all the other conservative Catholic-raised Filipina brides-to-be who went to a strip show also kept count.

Jennica and our other gay officemate left at past 12, while the rest of us decided to stay. It's been a long time since I last went to a macho dancing bar (yeah, last Dec 23). Too bad they didn't reach the part where all the ATW boys went on stage with their own routine. That happened around 130 am already. Still too early for us to go home.

So, Jennica's total count as of last Thursday night was 7. Five plus the two she has seen before. Still wondering if her fiancee was one of the two.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
email:; Follow at twitter: @gbgoer

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  1. FYI. "Home Base" isnt the actual name of the bar. It's just a code name for this specific bar in Manila. I thank Doctor Richard Smith (commander) for the inspiration.

  2. Hahaha, read this again! - jennica

  3. Congrats to your wedding Jennica! =)


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