Macho Dancer and Hosto Typology

This time last year, when I haven’t had any experience inside a macho dancing bar or gay bar, I had a chat with a gay former officemate. The topic was about gay bars, and I asked if he had been inside one before. He then shared his mostly-exaggerated experiences. But what interested me most were the different types of guys one could find inside these bars.

“You have lots to choose from. Whatever your type is – boy next door, athletic, tall, etc” was his line. I got intrigued to find out more with his quite generic descriptions of these boys.

Now, based on my personal observations of going to gay bars, here are the top 10 most common types of macho dancers or hostos, based on their physical attributes, working in a gay bar:

1. Masculado (Muscle Man)

This is obvious. Why call a bar a “macho dancer bar” if no dancer is at least muscular? Bulging biceps, broad shoulders, well-toned back, 8-pack abs (whew!). They’re blessed with Adonis-like bodies, but not all are blessed with looks. Pati mukha matigas din (Even the face looks hard).  

Synonym: “Er” types, ie. Constuction Work-er

2. Actor look-alike

Their claim to fame is that they resemble someone famous in the local celebrity scene.  Gerald Anderson with the crooked smile of William Martinez. James Yap with bigger nose and wider eyes. Aljur Abrenica with a more-wooden machete face. Hayden Kho with a face lift gone wrong. Roderick Paulate with a muscular build. Oops.

3. “Junjunin”

The name “Junjun” is a common Filipino boy’s nick name, like Nene for girls. A “Junjunin” is the dark slim skinny 18 to 22 year old, who looks too young to be working as a macho dancer. You might mistake him for your neighboor’s teenage child who was instructed to buy vinegar from the nearest sari-sari store, but never came back home, to earn money as a hosto.

4. Korean pop star wannabe

You’ll notice this one as he automatically stands out. He transformed himself to appeal to the filthy rich Korean woman. He looks like he came out of a Korean teen pop fashion magazine – large hair, with long strands dyed blonde. And he dances on-stage to K-pop. It’s obvious who the boy, and the bar, want to extort money from. See related post about Koreanas.

5. The Boylet Next Door

My favorite. Especially chinitos (1st) and mestizos (2nd). You can choose from this wide spectrum of endearing guys -- either the clean-cut gentleman, or the pilyo kid (mischievous kid), or the college-aged out-of-school youth, or the undiscovered next matinee idol. But take this advice – Humanda ka. Marami kang kaagaw! Mahirap kalaban ang bading, lalo na mga tandercats!  (Be prepared. Competition is fierce. Gays, especially old ones, are tough to compete with).

6. “Mama sa Kanto” (Man from the Street Corner)

You’d wonder why the bar hired this guy. Was the bar too desperate to hire anyone, just anyone, from the streets? Fine, he may have the body, but please, the fez (face)! And the guy may be obliging – he gets paid to drink free booze in the bar. At least the bar offers some service to the neighborhood – more jobs, less crime. (Shet, ang sama ko!)

7. Shampoo Commercial boy

Just because of his perfect, long, black shiny hair. Shinampoo lang daw yan. Of course, there are guys which look like the “Before” shot, while the younger ones look like the “After.” I still wonder how shoulder-length hair on a guy can look appealing. Spill-over of the 80s-90s popular look, perhaps.

8. Angas boy (Tough Boy)

Shaved head. Tattooed. Pierced. With or without a goatee. He dances with his dagger eyes looking sharply at you. Either he wants to f*ck the hell out of you on your bed tonight… or make you the following day’s tabloid headlines (Bading, pinatay ng macho dancer). Still, bad boys do have their appeal. Ask Mariel. Or my friend, Mary.

9. Higantes (Giants)

Those 5 foot 10 and above, towering over the Junjunins and the Boylets-Next-Door. Most of them don’t wear boots anymore, as the heeled footwear will give them more unneeded height. I find them both impressive and terrifying at the same time. Just like a gi-normous d*ck about to enter you.

10. Golden Guy

Golden Guy, in homage to the Golden Girls or Home of the Golden Gays. When you look at this guy, you’ll think “Dude, ilang taon ka na nagtatrabaho dito? (How many years have you been working here)” His looks reveal the years he’s been working in the bar – the gut from all the beer, the muscular frame that’s now under layers of fat, the obvious wrinkles on his face and the hairline that’s already receding. All these at the ripe senior age of 30.

Of course, there are the other rarities – those types that are too few to be classified into their own groups. Some examples are the Amboys (Fil-Am boys), the Pasan Ko Ang Mundo boy (emo boy with long bangs hiding his eyes), and the occassional obviously promdi (from the province). Those not classified under the types above are just your regular-looking not-outstanding Pinoy guys whom you can easily find in a mall on a weekend.    

There are also overlaps, with the most common as boylets next door who can also fall under masculados, or a Golden guy higante with long silky smooth hair (I am thinking of one now, who I heard used to work for the now-closed Valentino).

I didn't know way back that there was this huge spectrum of boys to choose from. All along I thought all macho dancers or hostos were one and the same -- good-looking dark-skinned muscled men. I shouldn't have believed all the gay-themed movies I've seen in the 90s. Wait, there was just one.

If you have experiences with any of these kids, boys, guys, men, feel free to share and comment. If not, why not take a trip to your friendly neighborhood gay bar, and take a pic, errr, pick from one of these boys?

Enjoy! Skemper na!

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com; Follow at twitter: @gbgoer