Thursday, January 13, 2011

Derek's Advice

One Sunday night before Christmas, as I was driving along EDSA to bring "Derek" home (inuwi sa tinutuluyan niya ha, hindi sa bahay ko. naughty!), I chatted with him on macho dancer-gay guest relationships

At that time, I didn't have any hidden intentions, as "Derek" was the dancer that Ringo, my friend, tabled in "Home Base" a few nights before that. So they had met up that Sunday night for dinner, and after catching up with them briefly, I offered "Derek" a ride as I would be passing by their place to reach my home.

The topic we had during that dinner was the dancer-guest relationship, as Ringo was recovering from a break-up, while I was looking forward to another budding relationship. So in the car, to continue the discussion with just Derek, I asked him if he had a relationship with a gay guy already.

Yes. (Pwede!).

I inquired how they met.

Derek, who originally was from Cebu, narrated how he met a gay guy (GG) from Manila via Facebook in the middle of 2010. The GG supposedly "pursued" Derek online, enough for the Cebuano to move to Manila. As Derek transfered to Manila in late October, things got awry, when he had a falling out with the GG and was left hanging on his own. That pushed him , I think, to work in a macho bar last November.

So I thought, perhaps straight guys do fall for gays? Or perhaps, he may not have been straight in the first place.

With that new-found hope, I asked him how I, a gay guest in a bar, should pursue a macho dancer like him for a relationship (even if he was just be a neophyte in the industry).

"Basta maging mabait ka lang," he said. "At huwag mong sasabihin sa kanya na liligawan mo siya."

I wondered why. He elaborated, "Yung lalaki kasi iisipin niyang hinahabol-habol mo siya. Kaya lalaki lang ang ulo niyan. Kung anu-ano na hihingiin. Parang nangyari na sa akin yan. Lumaki ulo ko dahil niligawan ako. Dapat turing kaibigan lang. Parang barkada."

So if I decided to pursue a dancer via this advice, I asked how open are these guys in having a relationship with a gay customer. His answer: "Syempre naghahanap din kami ng mga mag-aalaga sa amin. Masarap din yung ganun -- inaalagan kung mag-isa. Pero ayaw namin na bigla na lang kami iiwan sa ere."

He was talking from experience with a gay guy. And I was agreeing, from experience with a macho dancer as well.

Fast forward a week to today. I am now taking the words of "Derek", named after McDreamy Dr. Derek Shepherd.... and applying these to him.

Let's see what happens with McDreamy. After all, he kissed me on the cheek as he left the car on that one Sunday night before Christmas.

Derek Shepard aka McDreamy, as played by Patrick Dempsey

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
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