Interview with a Macho Dancer: Behind The Scenes

Urgent daw, ayon sa paksa ng kanyang email. Akala ko kung ano ang ninais ni Jofti, isang freelance writer, sa kanyang pabor. Kailangan daw niya mag-interview ng isang macho dancer, para sa isusulat nya sa isang online magazine. Tinanong din niya kung may kakilala rin daw akong contacts na maaaring ipasa sa kanya. 

Natawa naman ako dahil ako talaga ang naisip nyang lapitan para humingi ng tulong. Bugaw ba ng MD? Haha. Ngunit, pumayag naman akong tulungan siya. 

Reply ko sa kanya: "Sige, samahan pa kita." Kung magpapasa lang ako sa kanya ng random contact at address ng bar para puntahan nya, natakot naman ako kung saang lumalop ng Maynila siya mapadpad, bilang isang babaeng hindi pa nakakapasok sa isang gay bar. Saka para rin maging komportable ang macho dancer na ibahagi ang kwento sa isang hindi nya kilala. 

Ang tanong, sino naman ang maaari niyang interview-hin? 

The Conyo Macho Dancer

"Phoenix"*, top macho dancer in a gay bar in Metro Manila, couldn't fully hide where he came from.

In a setting where most of the performers come from the underprivileged who worked for "easy money", Phoenix seemed to stand out amongst his macho dancer companions. On the surface, he did not look or sound like the others. In this country where his above-average height, lean and toned build, fair skin color and a good command of English could reveal his mid-to-upper class upbringing, he could be described as a "conyo" (not the literal Spanish meaning of that word, but meaning "English-speaking maarte rich kid", colloquially). When he danced on-stage, he seemed not to be doing the routine typical macho-dancing, but like a very-choreographed form of sultry interpretative dance infused with slow hiphop dancing. From his stories about his pre-gay bar days, one would think that he might have a background rich of experiences.

"Bro, tingnan mo ito (look at this)", Phoenix said to me. I tabled him last weekend, the last among my group of friends to get him in the gay bar over the past months.

What he was showing me was a graphic of some gaming paraphernalia, freshly inked to a patch of his skin. That tattoo was his first, done at a very sensitive part of his body filled with nerve endings (the hands!). For him, it was a reminder of his "risky business" past. 

Before, "Phoenix" seemed to have small brushes with success out of the gay bar. While he had previous stints in the gay bar years back, there was a time that he dabbled in the entertainment industry. He was part of an in-demand group, who guests in tv shows and concerts. He has appeared in commercial ads already, not as the main lead, but as part of the extras. He even had bit roles on and off-cam in a big-budget movie, as part of the crowd and as choreographer of some dance sequences. From these "rackets", he had some earnings, enough for him to start his own business.

Then came his fall middle of last year. Phoenix seemed to have lost everything on a "risk" he took. He was lost, with no one to turn to. In desperation, he returned to the gay bar, the same one where my friends and I saw him months back as a thin disheveled 25 year-old. He was looking for a hiding place, a shelter, to rest, re-start, and be reborn.  

When I was talking to a healthier and recharged Phoenix that night, I noticed our conversation revolved around topics I could relate to. We had a conversation about colognes and perfumes, where he mentioned brand after brand of men's perfumes he owned, a few of which I haven't even heard of (He also had more than ten bottles of Clinique Happy, his favorite as well). He shared how he was eyeing an LV shoulder bag, but because of the price, bought a Lacoste one instead. He talked about cars (the time when I started to tune out), and how he was planning to sell his after he has finished setting-up the car with various race car-related paraphernalia or whatever. He also started talking business with me, how he plans to re-start with his own by saving up from his earnings in this bar. It seemed I was having a conversation with a classmate, or some kabarkada of a school mate.

And apparently he was. To our shock, we found out that we had a few common friends. One of those was someone from the lower batch who became popular because of the same commercial that Phoenix appeared in. Even Mary and Ringo, my two other gay-bar going buddies, knew friends whom he knew as well.

It seemed Phoenix was from our circle, someone who we may have met somewhere outside the gay bar.

"Hindi alam ng marami na dito ako nagtatrabaho. Iba ang buhay ko dito, sa buhay ko sa labas. (Lots of people don't know I work here. I have a different life in and out of the gay bar)." he admitted. The reason that he worked so far from where he lived was to ensure that no one in his circle could see him working in such a place. He may just be working in this bar for the meantime, as a quicker way to support his family and save up possibly, before venturing out into the world again.

I admire him for trying to rise again after his fall.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com

*Note: This is not his real name nor his stage name. Though, his stage name is somehow related to this.

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Photocredit: http://pelotonjim.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/like-the-phoenix-operation-puerto-rises-from-the-ashes/

MD: An Unexpected Career Shift or Not?

When I request for a macho dancer to sit with me (or "table") for the first time in a gay bar or male strip bar, I usually do the typical rounds of questioning: age, where they live, how long they've worked here, etc. It's so tempting to ask them, at their age of early 20s, if they finished their schooling and which school they went to. But because I don't want to offend them by making them remember their sad "poor life" stories, I just wait until they bring up the topic or something related to it.

What I notice though is that when we do talk about their educational attainment, the most often mentioned course these MDs took up is B.S. HRM or Hotel and Restaurant Management. (No, MD does not stand for Doctor of Medicine, but macho dancer). It may be in x-y-zed school that's not in a top-tier university, here in Manila or in the province. All never completed the course, due to financial reasons or delinquency. 

The profile of a typical drop-out of HRM who's working in a gay bar: 19-22, slim, junjunin-looking. Just like "Thomas", the first-ever macho dancer I tabled last year, and "Routh", one of the latest in my list of tabled guys.

The common thread among these guys, aside from why they stopped schooling, is why they even took up the course in the first place. It's not a specialist course that typical Filipinos (or the older macho dancers) usually take, like computer science (popular in the late 90s - early 2000s due to the demand) or nursing (popular in the mid-to-late 2000s due to the high salaries abroad). The course has been available in any school's curriculum for some time already, but more and more, students are picking this lately. "Shine", a former-HRM student turned macho dancer, shared that in his school, enrollees for HRM have been growing the past years, and has now even overtaken nursing 3-to-1 in enrollment numbers.

Hmmm... maybe HRM is the "it" course now, and not computer science and nursing anymore. Thinking about it, the macho dancers in their mid-to-late 20s, whom I talked to, took up computer science before dropping out. That course was the "in" thing when these guys (who are the same age as I am) were entering college.

From talking with these MDs, there is a notion that majoring in HRM leads to much more opportunities than specialist courses. They say one can choose to work for a range of establishments in the service industry, hospitality industry, tourism, hotel, food service, and etcetera industries out there. Because of this wide choice, they say it's easier and more flexible to get a job anywhere.

Another reason for this choice is the opportunity to cook or be a chef, especially if they have the passion for cooking. Routh claimed this, as with "Derek" who's a working student, and also "Brian J" of Lord Gay Bar in QC. This growing trend of cooking may have been an influence of the popularity of upscale culinary schools in recent years, which has influenced even the less popular and less expensive schools to come up with their version of culinary training via HRM. But honestly, I am quite skeptical of their reason of "passion for cooking"; I doubt these boys even lift a finger to help their moms cook at home.

But the appeal is where the course leads them. "Dream ko talaga makatrabaho / makasakay sa barko" (What I really dream for is to work in a shipping line or cruise), admits many in various gay bars. To them, working in these international shipping lines pays well, as they heard from a sibling or a from friend of a friend.  It's a real, tangible opportunity to sail away and leave this country for something better in other countries (I don't blame them). And these boys think that HRM is a requirement in this field. Fair enough, as most job openings in these ships are for crew, kitchen staff, cooks, waiters, utility/custodian, and even entertainers -- similar to the type of work in Manila, but with higher salaries.

So where are these hotelier-hopers, chef-dreamers and shipping-cruise-aspirers, who stopped schooling because their single-parent-breadwinner could not afford for their education anymore or because they couldn't wait to start working for their income and indepedence at an earlier age?

Many are scattered in various service industries -- as fast food crew, shopping mall salesmen, restaurant or kitchen staff. In fairness, a requirement of the HRM course is to do on-the-job training (OJT) in a restaurant or hotel, so getting a job in this industry is easy. 

A few I've met already in another service/entertainment industry that I frequent. It can still be lucrative for them here -- easy money. Can this indsutry be considered a career shift for them, if where they are at now is even considered a career at all? Maybe, maybe not.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com

The Scent of a (Macho) Man

Studies have shown that there's a link between memory and scent. A certain smell can remind us of a particular memory or specific feeling. That can also be true when you go to gay bars.

This past week, I visited "Kingdom Come"* alone, and got "Russell". He's 23, 5'10, with a shaved head and the face of a baby in a body of a veteran macho dancer. Apparently, he was, as he started four years ago in the same bar, but stopped to search for work in Dubai. Less than a year there, fate cost him almost the P300K from his earnings in the gay bar, with an expiring visa, and without a job. So he returned to Manila last year, and started again in this bar just this past December.

In the middle of our conversation that night, he excused himself as he was next in line to dance on stage. After his routine, he came back, slightly perspiring but now with a scent that I commended as "smelling good." I told him I'd guess what his scent was. It was too familiar. It was Clinique Happy for Men. I was right.

His choice is so different from the typical perfumes or colognes used by macho dancers or hostos in the industry. Of course, smelling good is important in their work, as they wouldn't want to be smelling of perspiration or body odor while seated beside a customer. So the use of fragrances is in order, also as an agent of strong but subtle attraction. The most commonly-used perfumes in almost all gay bars are the cheap ones which fit the daily allowance of a macho dancer, namely Afficionado, Bench, Penshoppe, Axe. These have a common sugary-sweet, slightly musky smell that one can easily recognize, not only in the gay bar, but also while seated inside public transportation, lining up in the grocery, or eating in a fastfood outlet. 

Then, there are the name-brand ones. Banana Republic. Bulgari. CK. Giorgio Armani. These are usually given as gifts by their guests. As the boys know how expensive these perfumes are, most would scrimp on using these, as they never know if they'd still ever receive such a pricey gift. Of course, their friends in the bar would always borrow their fragrances, and the branded bottle of perfume ends up half-empty by the following month. Because of this, macho dancers always say, "hindi ko na iiwan yung pabango sa locker ko. Nauubos lang kasi maraming humihingi. (I won't leave the perfume in my locker anymore. It gets consumed quickly because of too many borrowing it)."  But they never do, as they would never know when they'd be tabled with another customer. 

Russell of course was using a branded cologne. It's his favorite, and has about 8 to 10 empty orange-colored bottles lined up at a table in his room.  

However, what's so unusual for me about Russell's Clinique Happy for Men was that I never remembered anyone else in the bar using the same brand I use. I have around five perfumes, but the one I keep inside my car is that same fresh citrusy-scented orange-bottled brand Russell is using. It's kept there in case I go to a gimmick after a long day's work. But usually that gimmick turns out to be a skemper-going night out to a gay bar.

So I smell of Clinique Happy every time I am in Home Base, Neighborhood, or Kingdom Come. (That doesnt mean if you see a gay guy in his mid-20s in a gay bar smelling of this specific citrus scent, that the guy's me).

And now I might connect that light, fresh citrusy smell to Russell.

According to Russell, he remembered that his first bottle was given to him by a former gay customer years ago. That same customer made him one of the top macho dancers in Kingdom Come for months, before Russell left and went to Dubai. He also fondly recalled his memories on being at the top -- how he had a title from an event in Kingdom Come, how he earned his 1st runner-up trophy in an inter-gay-bar competition, how earning P3,500 a night was so easy. Then he proceeded to share how cheap the real branded fragrances are in Dubai, because of the low tax. But then he couldn't afford to spend too much, as he was quite desperate to look for work because of the global recession. He came back to the Philippines after some time, without any work, any phone (as he lost his phone and all his contacts in Dubai), any cash. He returned to the gay bar, back to zero customers, back to square one. And I assumed the half-empty Clinique Happy in his locker right now is one of his remaining hopes for a better life this year. 

With our brains linking scents with memories, I am now afraid to think that I will forever link Clinique Happy as my "official gay bar scent." Ten years from now, I may be in the duty-free shop in an international airport in a far away land, and sample the classic Clinique Happy on the shelves. Smelling the scent may bring me back to 2010 with all the memories of my night outs, my endless spendings, my highs and lows, my kilig moments and my heartaches in the gay bars of Manila. I may even be reminded of that specific night of Feb 2011 when I tabled a guy whose name I might not recall anymore but whose favorite scent I might remember as the same one I was using back then.  

I still have an unfinished bottle of Clinique Happy in my car. Maybe I'll just give it to Russell as a gift. Or to another gay bar macho dancer I will really fancy in the future.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com; Follow at twitter: @gbgoer

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Photocredit: http://www.corbisimages.com/Enlargement/42-21541431.html

Derek: An Update

So "Derek", whom I thought was the McDreamy of Macho Dancers (wtf!), may think he's a hotshot already. Fair point. He's constantly tabled by various types of customers. Earlier, he was requested three times by different customers - one was with a group of young Koreans, then with a lonely mature gay guy, and lastly, with a group of matronix women. All in one night. Good for him.

But stories about him are starting to spread. Mostly negative ones.

One such story was shared by our tranny impersonator friend. According to her, a long-time gay customer of Home Base tabled him for the first time a few weeks back. When the gay guy returned the following night, he refused to table Derek and got another one. This might not sound unusual in the gay bar scene, but the "talent" manager asked him why.

Apparently, Derek asked the long-time gay customer to buy him a motorcycle the previous night. No surprises if the customer was Derek's regular guest or gay/matrona benefactor. But what Derek did seemed like he was asking for P70,000 (minimum for a second-hand bike) on their first meeting. The gall of this boy!

Sounds all too familiar. Remember my last post about his possible downfall? He asked me for a P5000 TF just to go out for dinner, and asked my friend Ringo whether he could match (tapatan) the P15000 that Derek's Korean or Taiwanese customer tipped him while dancing on-stage. I shared these to our tranny impersonator friend, and she realized that stories about Derek's former gay customers' dismay about his current behavior were just too similar. She knew something was just not right.

I guess for current it-boys, their worlds just revolve around money and getting the most at their peak. That may be one of the reasons why I don't like to get top macho dancers to table with me. Sa sobrang experienced na nila, baka perahan lang ako.

I wonder if the bar will be aware of Derek's under-the-table dealings with the customers. Maybe. But I bet, they wouldn't really care especially if they are still making money out of him.

Derek is still the current it-boy, with a special solo performance with him just dancing in jeans. That performance made me hot when I first saw it. But since the incident, I've been too turned off with him to even watch him dance.

I just hope he will realize his mistakes and turn things around. I feel, deep inside him, he's still the McDreamy I thought him to be.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com; Follow at twitter: @gbgoer

Dreamy Derek's Downfall

When I came up with the code name for “Derek” (not his real name), I thought that naming this macho dancer after Dr. Derek Shepherd of Grey’s Anatomy was perfect. Not only did the name had a link with the guy’s real name in the gay bar, but Dr. Shepherd also had a famous nickname among the interns in the hospital -- “McDreamy.”

For me, “Derek” was McDreamy.

Dr. Derek Shepard aka "McDreamy"
played by Patrick Dempsey

At 22, Derek’s looks, height, build, complexion, hair style, skin color, almost everything, reminded me of a young popular Filipino heart throb (Clue: local cheap perfume’s deliciously dark-skinned endorser, with initials J.A.). He was respectful, a good conversationalist, level-headed, and humble. He impressed me that while he’s still new in the macho dancing industry, he’s also managing to study in one of Manila’s farther universities (student by day, stud by night). I could sense the goodness and sincerity in him, even sharing his "words of wisdom", with the few encounters I had with him, in and out of the bar.

Plus, his English was not that bad (which was a sigh of relief after months of receiving “broken English” or jejemon texting via SMS from other boys).

If I wanted to have a steady boyfriend from any gay bar, McDreamy would be it.

I think he was McDreamy not only to me, but to a lot of the bar’s customers, may it be a excitable Koreana, a bored matrona or a horny gay man. Frequently requested by customers to be tabled, he never had a vacant night. Sometimes, there would be two or more guests willing to wait for him while he was occupied with another.

Just like last Saturday, I went to his bar, planning to spend time with him, but had to choose another one as he was tabled by a Koreana. When he danced on stage that night (he did a unique seductive routine that’s shirtless with jeans on), another Koreana stuck P15,000 on his jeans. How can I compete with that? (With my love. Charing! Which I screamed out loud before leaving the bar as it was closing).

I really wanted to get another chance to be with this guy, so on the following night, I sent him a text message on my way to Mall of Asia.

Me: Hi “Derek”, kumusta? (How are you?)

D: Ok lang po. Ikaw? (I am okay. You?)

Me: Oks lang. Papunta MOA. Yayain sana kita kumain. (I’m okay. Going to MOA. Thought of inviting you for dinner)

D: Pwede naman… May TF ba ako? (That’s possible… Do I get some TF?)

TF. Talent Fee. I didn’t believe what I just read. So I called him up to clarify.

Me: Anong ibig mong sabihin sa TF? (What do you mean with TF?)

D: Hingi ako ng fee para makipagkita. (I am asking for a fee to meet up)

Me: Grabe. Magkano naman? (Wow. For how much?)

D: Mga P5,000 lang. Barya lang naman yun sayo diba? (Only P5,000. That’s just loose change to you, right?)

Then he continued to explain how he and the Koreana fought in the bar the previous night because of someone else giving him P15,000, which he returned. So I assumed that he was asking for a TF because he lost that large a tip that night.

I've gone out with lots of dancers and hostos before, for dinner, coffee, shopping, drinks, ktv. As I paid for all our expenses, I was never asked for extra tip or "TF" or bar fine (except for once when I offered one dancer for mot-mot services). But never have I or any of my friends experienced someone asking for a TF up front and at this rate, just to spend time outside.

Infuriated, I called up my friend, Ringo, who was Derek’s original guest. The three of us had a chance to bond over dinner in Greenbelt some time in December. I even brought Derek home after that dinner. Never did he ask for anything from me or my friend that night.

Apparently, according to Ringo, when he had a text exchange with Derek that same morning, Derek had a similar “off” line to him. The exchange was something like: 

Ringo: Ang dami mong taga-hanga. Grabe yung binigay na pera sayo kagabi. (You have lots of admirers. The money given to you was enormous).

Derek: Oo nga. Kaya mo bang tapatan yun? (Yes. Can you even match that?)

The nerve. Such a turn-off, isn’t it?

Derek may know he’s popular as the current "it"-boy, the star of the bar. His supposed “fame” has gone to his head. The simple, self-effacing, humble working student that I knew a few weeks back is now gone.

In situations like this, I recall what “Cole” (from another bar) told me. Two years ago, Cole was fresh from the province and just entering this industry. He was at the top of the heap – he never had a night without customers. His appeal was his naïve-looking rural boy image – puppy dog brown eyes, little nose, strong jaw line, tall, lean, moreno – which made older gays gaga on corrupting him. That was until a few months back, when his boyish looks have faded, leaving him with just the plain provincial look, and gay patrons moving on to other bars and other boys. And that was why I had a chance to table him, because he was one of the few remaining boys in the bar without a customer. If it were a few years back, he said, I might have not gotten to know him that well.

“Pana-panahon lang,” as some macho dancers typically say. They can be ranked number five a few weeks after starting in the bar, then go down, back up. Then depending on how he manages his job and customers, he can either stay on top or descend slowly into the bottom of the list, until he loses his job, leaves the bar, and tries to make his fortune in another bar. Then he’ll turn old, with receding hairline and flabby body, and lose his appeal in the bar, at the age of 30.

I wonder what made Derek change in a span of a few weeks. He might have been getting sustenance (sustento) from one of his Koreana customers. Or he might just have a bad day or really just needed the money.

Derek should be wiser and more careful. He won’t always be on top. But the damage has been done. McDreamy isn’t so dreamy after all.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com; Follow at twitter: @gbgoer

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Photo Credit: Tom Munro / Management Artists from

http://www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20237714_20159879_20366808,00.html

Derek's Advice

One Sunday night before Christmas, as I was driving along EDSA to bring "Derek" home (inuwi sa tinutuluyan niya ha, hindi sa bahay ko. naughty!), I chatted with him on macho dancer-gay guest relationships

At that time, I didn't have any hidden intentions, as "Derek" was the dancer that Ringo, my friend, tabled in "Home Base" a few nights before that. So they had met up that Sunday night for dinner, and after catching up with them briefly, I offered "Derek" a ride as I would be passing by their place to reach my home.

The topic we had during that dinner was the dancer-guest relationship, as Ringo was recovering from a break-up, while I was looking forward to another budding relationship. So in the car, to continue the discussion with just Derek, I asked him if he had a relationship with a gay guy already.

Yes. (Pwede!).

I inquired how they met.

Derek, who originally was from Cebu, narrated how he met a gay guy (GG) from Manila via Facebook in the middle of 2010. The GG supposedly "pursued" Derek online, enough for the Cebuano to move to Manila. As Derek transfered to Manila in late October, things got awry, when he had a falling out with the GG and was left hanging on his own. That pushed him , I think, to work in a macho bar last November.

So I thought, perhaps straight guys do fall for gays? Or perhaps, he may not have been straight in the first place.

With that new-found hope, I asked him how I, a gay guest in a bar, should pursue a macho dancer like him for a relationship (even if he was just be a neophyte in the industry).

"Basta maging mabait ka lang," he said. "At huwag mong sasabihin sa kanya na liligawan mo siya."

I wondered why. He elaborated, "Yung lalaki kasi iisipin niyang hinahabol-habol mo siya. Kaya lalaki lang ang ulo niyan. Kung anu-ano na hihingiin. Parang nangyari na sa akin yan. Lumaki ulo ko dahil niligawan ako. Dapat turing kaibigan lang. Parang barkada."

So if I decided to pursue a dancer via this advice, I asked how open are these guys in having a relationship with a gay customer. His answer: "Syempre naghahanap din kami ng mga mag-aalaga sa amin. Masarap din yung ganun -- inaalagan kung mag-isa. Pero ayaw namin na bigla na lang kami iiwan sa ere."

He was talking from experience with a gay guy. And I was agreeing, from experience with a macho dancer as well.

Fast forward a week to today. I am now taking the words of "Derek", named after McDreamy Dr. Derek Shepherd.... and applying these to him.

Let's see what happens with McDreamy. After all, he kissed me on the cheek as he left the car on that one Sunday night before Christmas.

Derek Shepard aka McDreamy, as played by Patrick Dempsey

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com; Follow at twitter: @gbgoer

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Photo credit: http://www.sofeminine.co.uk/star/pictures-243606-patrick-dempsey.html

"Javier": Hosto Turned Macho

I only met "Javier" once in a hosto bar. It was August, my first time in the bar, “Neigherbood.” My two gay bar-hopping pals visited the place the previous week, and were raving about the "quality" of men there -- not only good-looking. but can converse well (and even text properly in English). One of the guys they tabled was "Javier", and they told me to get him on our next visit.

I didn't get to table Javier the entire night in that August visit. He was occupied with another guest at that time. When his guest left a few hours after, he went to our group, but unfortunately, I was occupied with another guy already.

Javier, late 20s, was totally good-looking. Yeah, boys in these hosto bars were supposed to be good looking at the very least, in their own kanto-boy-ish, er-ish (constuction work-er, driv-er, etc), or korean-pop-inspired-ish appeal. At 5’8, he was not the tallest. He was not muscular at all but not too thin, had a fair complexion, quite smooth and flawless in his symmetrical face. He had a boyish face that also revealed he’s nearing 30. He had attributes that sounded like the average Pinoy man working in these bars. But he seemed different.

He seemed to have been raised in a middle-class or well-to-do family, from his manners and his clean-cut refined image, and not in the streets of Tondo or fields of the province under the scorching skin-darkening sun. He could've been a commercial model for a toothpaste or shampoo ad, with his smile and neatly styled naturally wavy hair. Or if he just had more height, he could’ve been in runway shows for some local designer. He could've been my schoolmate, possibly the popular upper classman surrounded by the campus heartthrobs, or the soccer varsity jock surrounded by fellow handsome team mates. I could've seen him before, as the lead actor's best friend in a local TV show somewhere, or the officemate who was always in demand to host the office parties, or the gentlemanly suitor of my cousin living in Alabang. But there he was, a clear stand-out from the rest of the boys, sitting among us, working in a hosto bar.

From the snippets of stories I got from him and my gay pals, apparently, he has already worked as a hosto in Japan before, for more than a few years. He has done VTRs for some modeling jobs, but never got to an actual advertisement. He said he simply wanted to try out this type of “hosto” job, but he vowed never to work for a macho dancing bar (He couldn’t see himself trying to dance bare sensually in front of crowds). He was coy about his love life, if he had a girlfriend, or wife, or even kids.

On our next visit to the same bar the following week, we found out Javier already left. He only lasted for more than a week. But during his stay, he was apparently one of the most sought-after guys there. Never vacant, he always had a customer requesting for him. A potential star of the bar had left, and we didn’t know for what reason. Pahinga (to rest), perhaps

Three months after, just last December, my gay pals and I visited “Home Base,” the macho dancing bar. We wanted to see who the new recruits were, and apparently there were quite a lot since we last visited. The manager introduced the new boys, three at a time. On the third set, to our surprise, “Javier” was being introduced to us as a newbie. Even if we knew him before, we didn’t pick him.

That night, I was observing Javier dance up on stage. He added a bit of weight -- fat, not muscle. His age of 30 was now obvious. His hairline, which was just slightly receding, was more obvious than before. He never removed his sando when he danced, though it revealed a tattoo on his arm that we never saw in the wholesome hosto bar. On stage, he just stood there, barely moving from side-to-side, and looked very awkward, self-conscious and obviously amateurish. But he had a smile on, chuckling now and then to some unseen macho friend or guest in the bar, as if he was making fun of his new job, or just in disbelief that he was on stage dancing. Amidst the macho dancers in Home Base, he now looked very ordinary.

The once-upon-a-time star of the hosto bar has become just-one-of-those in the macho bar.

Last I heard, Javier has not showed up for work for a week or two, and apparently, “resting” again.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com; Follow at twitter: @gbgoer

"Stewart", Part 2

(Continued from Part 1)

Two weeks passed. No communication. Break from going to “Kingdom Come” (Friends and I went to “Home Base” instead). I forgot about Stewart.

On the eve of Christmas Eve, I decided to visit the bar, with my gay friend, after a surprising text kumusta from Stewart and a lengthy sms conversation with him (despite him never even mentioning for me to pay him a visit). Upon seeing him, feelings resurfaced. Yes, I was so in-like, but I had to restrain myself because I believed I was just one of his customers. I wanted to ask him out, but had to find a way without making the invitation sound sleazy. Good thing we left the bar until it closed. The opportunity to bring him home opened. Even if the idea came from him, after I agreed, he was nahihiya at first because he lived far south. But I insisted, and assured him that I would often do this to my previous boys.

The 30-minute car ride was the closest I can get to a date with Stewart outside the bar. I was nervous, unsure. I wanted to spend more time with him, like offering to treat him for breakfast or maybe go on a booking so that he has more money to bring home for Christmas. I didn’t want to sound sleazy to him, like taking advantage of the situation.

But nothing happened. I just dropped him off at a distance from his house. He rushed to walk home, even forgetting his cellphone inside the car. So I made a u-turn, asked the neighbors where he lived. I got to his place. He rushed again to my car to retrieve my phone. Apparently, his dad and sister were already awake at 5am, and outside the house. So they saw my silhouette inside the car. What could they have thought – their boy going home nightly at that hour, but this time brought home by a guy with a car?

With that thought in mind, I was apologetic. He replied that it was perfectly okay, after a very grateful text message. No questions were asked by his folks apparently.

It’s been almost a week since that night. We greeted each other last Christmas. We sent a few messages every now and then, before I left for a post-Christmas family trip. But the entire day and even tonight, no word from him.

I texted him “I miss you”, just before starting this post.

(Names here are not their actual bar names, which are also pseudonyms to protect their real identities. All names here have been tweaked a bit – with an added little hint on their bar names).

"Stewart", Part 1

Since my split up with “Air” last October, I’ve been going to “Kingdom Come” with my trusty skemperkada. After sixteen or so boys I’ve met this past year, I noticed that I’ve been very picky with selecting boys.

I tabled “Carlos Magdangal” on my first visit in late November. I thought he was a catch – young, resembled a popular young actor, smooth-talker – until he asked me that same night to bagsak 25 drinks as points for the big event “Mr. Kingdom Come 2010” where he participated as contender. Too fast. Masyadong presko. Then came “Cole”, who was all sweet and charming, but whom I couldn’t really connect with. After those two, I thought I would never meet anyone good enough from that bar. Then jackpot, I was introduced to “Stewart”.

23, boyish, lean, tall, lanky, clean-cut hair parted sideways. He can carry a good conversation. Varied topics. Not the typical MD-guest conversations. Only a few dead air moments. Witty. Never awkward. Never pushy. Only slightly bolero. Nice innocent smile. Shares his personal photos in his phone. No regular guest (good, no competition!) Good head on his shoulders. No turn off traits so far.

Inside the bar, to loosely quote Rihanna, he could make me feel like I’m his only guest in the world. I was so in-like.

But I have a feeling though he just treats me as a guest, nothing more. I don’t know, but he doesn’t seem to put much effort in reaching out to me outside the context of the bar. He rarely initiates text messages, which is so different from Hobbes, who manages to contact me often. We can go on for days without any contact. He’s the first macho dancer who didn’t send a text message during my travels abroad. Even if I am in town, I never got the invitation to meet up outside. I was resigned to the fact that, yes, I might just be a customer and nothing else.

To be continued...

(Names here are not their actual bar names, which are also pseudonyms to protect their real identities. All names here have been tweaked a bit – with an added little hint on their bar names).

"Hobbes"

When I interact with macho dancers I am interested to have a relationshup with, I always look out for signs if he MAY be sincerely into me, and not treat me as a mere "customer" or "walking ATM." Case-in-point: "Hobbes".

Pre-Christmas: "Hobbes", 22, of "Home Base" (not his real "bar name") has been so makulit via text. Even if I just "tabled" him once on the previous weekend and has replaced him with two other guys since then (I was put off by the four drinks he rushed to drink within an hour's time), he has always kept in touch. He would share stories of what went on that day with his family (going to the embassy, party for his sister's birthday, etc). Quite amusing, since most MDs that I've "rejected' or "replaced" would just leave me as is. Effort kung effort.

So Monday night, I asked him via text why he seemed to be "pursuing me" as if I was the girl of his dreams, and not an actual girl (haba-hair moment). He said that he didn't like to pursue girls anymore because "mga manloloko din... kasi binigay na nya lahat pero niloko din siya." He wanted to have a real relationship that would last long, and not just be someone's toy, maybe based from a previous experience he had with another gay guest. He didn't want to be "iiwanan lang sa ere" (a line that was mentioned by another MD earlier that week). He felt I could give that real relationship to him.

In between his flirty text messages peppered with "bhe", he was persistent in selling me his tickets for their bar's Christmas event, which I wasn't planning to attend. But I obliged, out of sympathy (if the tickets went unsold, the bar would deduct the price from their allowance, which he was planning to spend for their Christmas dinner). So Tuesday night, I went to "Home Base" at 3am to purchase the tickets personally, after hours of text messaging. But when I arrived, he was already occupied with another guest. So I just told him to meet me up the following day.

So Wednesday of last week, I met up with him in Trinoma, QC.  The meeting was quite short and uneventful -- him tagging along while I did my errands, then early dinner at Chowking. But what amused me was our discussion during our post-dinner smoke.

He told me I was the first customer he met up with outside the bar, since he started last August. After probing if this was true, he said that he was supposed to meet with another customer in another mall a few weeks back, but that didn't push through. I asked if that customer was a girl or a guy. He answered the latter.

So I asked why, and he reiterated what he texted me a few days back. And he added that he felt that gays give more to their beloved, unlike girls. (Hayy, if these boys really knew and appreciated what we gays do for love). Momentary silence. After the smoke, as we parted ways, I handed him the the payment for the tickets (plus a few extra for Christmas). He refused, because he forgot the tickets at home. So it was my turn to insist, and then his turn to oblige. I didn't go to the bar's Christmas event that night. All through out the night, he was still persistent for me to follow.

I don't know if he was truly sincere when he shared this story. Maybe he was. Who knows if what he told me was actually true... or just the truth stretched just to make me have my "haba hair moment" enough to "give my all" when he needs it.

On Christmas eve, he texted to remind me of his birthday on the 26th. After my greeting, he replied with "Maghahanda ba tayo sa birthday ko?". Taken aback because I held no promises to treat him for his birthday, I bluntly declined. No more messages from him afterwards.

Dec 26, Saturday, 4pm:
GB Goer: Hi Happy Birthday
Hobbes: Cno to bago kc cp q. tnx
A few exchanges.

Guess what. He did have a birthday celebration in their house... thrown by another guest.