The Annual Mr. Gay Bar Title Competition

On a regular gay bar night, you always hear the gay bar DJ introduce some particular macho dancer onstage: "Up next is the 2010 Mr. Hot-Dream-God-Papa-Bird-King." And as you hear that single title, you turn your attention to whoever is coming next onstage. You ask yourself how this unique macho dancer might look like. As the song's first lines are played, your eyes are then expecting to see the most handsome, most muscular, and most talented macho dancer in that bar.  

Once you see the Mr. Gay Bar for 2011, you then ask yourself, how did HE win? 

It's already December, and to cap off the end of the year, most big gay bars would hold one of their biggest "Big Nights" (event) of the year. This event is the annual Search for the Mr. Gay Bar 20xx, a pageant held among the bar's existing macho dancers. This is supposedly the most prestigious title any macho dancer can hold, especially if the winner gets to carry the name of the bar for a year (as part of his resume for a future corporate job also?).  

"It's an honor", as the macho dancers say. "Makikilala ka talaga ng mga customer. Kahit sa mga first timer na customer, malalaman nilang ikaw ang pinaka sikat dahil may titulo ka."

So what happens behind these annual competitions? 

Beware the Invitation

You go to your favorite macho dancing gay bar, with the intention of spending another P3,000 like you did the previous week. You order your macho dancer espesyal, and while waiting for him to be served, the gay floor manager sits beside you. He chats you up, and mentions the upcoming male pageant search to be held in their bar. You've heard about this before, so you nod in agreement as he asks if you'd be going. 

"Kunin po namin kayong judge ha (We'll get you as a judge)," he tells you with a shy smile.   

Flattered?

Of course, you've now become part of this elite group of very important guests who already has the power and unique skill in determining the top macho dancer in the bar. Fantastic! Imagine a stage filled with semi-nude men trying to get your attention and your vote.

You go again to their bar. The gay floor manager chats you up, and shares his excitement about their upcoming outing to this private beach resort. You've heard about this, as casually mentioned by your frequently-tabled macho dancer a few weeks back. You ask the gay floor manager about their overnight trip.

Inter Gay Bar Competition: Part 3

(Conclusion from Part 1 and Part 2)

As I couldn't take pics in the bar, let me help you

visualize what the dancers may have looked like.

I think the host bar deliberately placed the best performances at the end. They were both from Planet Xanadu, the bar from faraway Quezon City. Apparently, the bar is known for their grand production numbers, and they were expected to do well in this competition.

True enough, they didn't disappoint. The first performance had a lot of dancers: two tranny impersonators at the front, and five male dancers -- the macho dancer contestant in the middle (the tallest and most handsome), plus four back-up dancers. What impressed the crowd was their stage presence. Costume + props, check: They were dressed in loin cloths ala Machete outfits, with spears and bamboo props. Choreography, check: All were coordinated in their upbeat African-Ifugao inspired moves. It was so impressive that I didn't even notice if there was some "note"-worthy exposure, particularly at the time when the middle dancer had his seductive routine amidst the dancing back-up tribesmen. Siguro naman meron, for them to be well-applauded and cheered.

In contrast, the second representative from the bar, and the last among the contestants, had a slower, more dramatic performance. It involved a semi-nude jungle king, who was the macho dancer of course, and his supposed semi-nude queen, who was a drag queen performer, if you may. They were the only performance with set-props on-stage -- tall columns decorated with leafy vines. The couple's dance routine was similar to a lyrical performance from "So You Think You Can Dance". Or for more jologs-essence, the interpretative dance by a balleting couple to the romantic duet, sung in "That's Entertainment."

Past 4 AM, while waiting for the results of the competition, the host bar, Solution Gay Bar, had a surprise performance of their own. With the use of salakots as props hanging from the ceiling, with their own impersonators and the top tattooed macho dancers dressed in glitter g-strings, the bar made sure to outshine the production numbers from the other competing bars. In fairness, as the host bar, they gave a performance that was sure to impress even non-regulars of that bar.

When the substitute host gave a run-down of the competing bars, he mentioned in a sarcastic tone that other bars declined to send a representative, without naming specifics. Boys Next Door turned Adonis II turned back to Boys Next Door in Malate didn't send a contestant. Nor did Big Papa (BP) Gay Bar, which the host was referring to. According to "Russell", who was a former dancer in the said bar, Big Papa sent a contestant in Solution's previous competitions. However, a video of the representative, taken from a hidden camera, was uploaded online without consent of the bar (sorry, I couldn't find it). As the bar's owner discovered this, he refused to send anymore contestants to their rival bar's competitions after this incident.

After a few more modeling from the host bar's hunky men, they revealed the winners of the competition. Best in Costume went to the lackluster, tribal-caped Machette Bar. 1st runner up went to the bird-shower White Bird. Top prize, with P8,000 and bragging rights to be called the Jungle King 2011, went to the as-expected, obviously-prepared Planet Xanadu.

Conclusion:

As it was my first inter-gay bar macho dancing competition, "Russell", who's had 6 bottles of MD drinks already, gave me a little debrief of what happened.

He said, for the P300 entrance fee, the show wasn't worth it. Most performances earlier can be regularly seen in an ordinary "prime time" special of any gay bar. There were no spectacular performances from the usual great show-stoppers of before, like Big Papa or Valentino Gay Bar, who would really take weeks, money and effort to prepare. The only performances that stood out came from Planet Xanadu, as expected because, according to him, one of Planet Xanadu's managers was a former Big Papa manager, trained from its school of macho dancing production numbers. Even the surprise performance of Solution  Gay Bar was also a product of Big Papa, as one of Solution's managers also came from that bar.

Well, this is not the only inter-gay bar macho competition to be held in Manila. Gay bars do sponsor their own annual competitions, as part of their big night events, inviting their so-called rival bars to participate. I wonder when and where the next competition would be?


GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com

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Photocredits: http://www.123rf.com, http://www.thebaglady.tv/2009/03/topshop_tribal.html

Inter Gay Bar Competition: Part 2

(Continued from Part 1)

After the host's 30 minute blabbering on stage, at 2 AM, the DJ announced the names of the bars who were competing for the title of "Jungle King 2011." I remember hearing Machette Bar, Club Mansion, White Bird, Mankind, Hunks and Planet Xanadu. A total of 11 dancers were vying for the title, with some bars sending two contestants.

As I can't take pictures inside the bar, let me
help you visualize what the dancers wore...

The first representative, the one sent by Machette Bar, had two gay impersonators and three macho men as back-up dancers, all in animal print. Despite the amount of performers on-stage, the props used, the voracious dancing of the back-ups, the contestant failed to wow the crowd. He was just lackluster, standing there at the center, doing a very routine macho dancing. Fine, he had a leopard-print full cape on, kudos to his costume. But other than that, nothing spectacular. 

More so the second contestant, from Club Mansion. I couldn't even remember what he did. He wasn't even applauded after his performance (he even exited the stage before the slow song ended). But for sure I  briefly saw some cock.

The first representative of White Bird was a revelation. The dancer they sent, who was a newbie recruit all-the-way stripper, surprised the crowd when he revealed his "talent", right from the beginning of his first upbeat song until his second one. After a minute of vigorous dancing, he removed his loin cloth, leaving on him a tribal head gear, a few wooden necklaces, and feathered arm bands. He had the longest bird exposure (the exposure was the longest ha, and not the bird). He even had the only asshole exposure of the night... twice siyang tumuwad. He captivated the audience so much that he even got some sabit from a customer.

What shocked me was that I've been to their bar countless times, and never had I seen this kind of dance there. I even heard a few women from the audience wondering where the White Bird bar was, curious  to check out if this kind of dance was really performed there. I guess they might get disappointed if they knew how really "conservative" WB is.

Jungle King 2011?

After this performance, the following performers from Club Mansion, Mankind and White Bird were ordinary. Yes, they might have shown some "treasures", here and there. But for me, yawn, seen that before. According to "Russell", the dancer seated with me, the performances didn't look spectacular; any regular gay bar had these performances on a regular night. Dressed in as simple as a g-strip with skirt fashioned from cut-outs of white crepe paper or as elaborate as Aljur Abrenica's Machete costume, all of them were the same -- same type of solo macho dancer, same type of dancing, same expression on their faces. Good thing there was a 30 minute break after the 6th dance, or else, the crowd would've fallen asleep. It was already past 3 AM.

The last remaining performances were group dances.

The first nota-ble one was from Hunks, the supposed "revived" gay bar. Entertaining was how best to describe the performance that literally depicted "Jungle King". Their tranny impersonators dressed up in jungle animals: a Mulawin-like eagle, a white-horse-slash-donkey-slash-tikbalang-on-all-fours, and a lost, out-of-water mermaid-like-butete. They had a forest nymph, a diwata, who seemed to be the star of the show, prancing around the stage in an Enya-like song, together with all the un-tamed and un-coordinated animals. And where was the macho dancer? At the background, hidden underneath a large cloth, only to be revealed as their King at the second half of the song. But, again, nothing fantastic about his macho dancing. Oh, and yes, I forgot the most important animal: the King's pet cock... or was it snake?

(to be concluded)

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com

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Photocredits: 

http://www.mensunderwearstore.com/prod/male-power/CC-329030-BRNLEO.html,
 http://www.showbiz-portal.com

Inter Gay Bar Competition: Part 1

Imagine one gay bar, filled with macho dancers from various gay bars across the city. Each performs one after another, with his own set of props, costumes, or back-up dancers, revolving around a certain theme. The winner among them would hold a title, together with a cash prize and bragging rights for both the dancer and the bar.  


The only stolen photo I can get in this event. 

I can't even find where the banner is. 

Last Sunday, May 31, the lone gay bar in Libertad, Pasay, Solution Disco, played host to an inter gay bar competition. Entitled "Jungle King 2011", the event would crown the supposed "hottest and wildest macho dancer of the jungle." Okay. Roar.

Being the curious GB Goer, I was there to observe the competition. Good thing it was postponed to this date from its original date of May 18 due to a heavy rains and power failure (aka brown out), or else, I couldn't attend the event.

I arrived to the venue at 1130 PM. It was a good decision to be early, as I got a perfect seat near the stage. The bar wasn't full yet, but most of the clientele were the mature gays. The rest were women, with a few matronas, small groups of curious office-working ladies, and quite a lot of bar-working girls (the regulars of that gay bar).

While waiting for the event proper, we were entertained by the regular performances of the macho dancers working in the bar. I wasn't too bored, as I tabled my regular dancer, "Russell"*, who gave me a few tidbits about the competition. Apparently, none of the macho dancers working in the host bar is allowed to join the contest, for obvious reasons. So their task is mostly to entertain via dances before the event and during breaks.

The gay manager approached me if I wanted to judge the event. Of course, with much honor of being called a judge in this supposed prestigious event, I almost said yes. Good thing, I asked "Russell" what being a judge entailed. That meant "sponsorship", or donating some money or cash prize. Huwag na, I thought; I'd rather spend the money on "tabling" a guy, maybe even two.

At 130 AM, thank goodness, the event "Jungle King 2011" started.

There was a big and lengthy opening production number by the host bar, with their tranny impersonators in tribal attire and eight of their most good looking macho men in skimpy brown bikinis. By introducing these men one after another, the bar seemed to send a message to the crowd that even if this was a competition among the supposed best among the gay bars, they still had the best-looking men. Right.

To host the event, the bar invited one of their regulars, an out-and-out gay celebrity, "Venga Gay" (gay version of Vengaboys). For 30 long freaking minutes, he went around the room to do his stand-up comedy, akin to gay comedy bars. He reminded the room, "whatever happens in the bar, let's just keep it here. So what, if I go to a gay bar? Where do you expect me to go, in a beer garden? I might just barf." Noted, Venga Gay. 

(to be continued...)

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com

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Photocredits: http://www.123rf.com/

The Anniversary: One Year Later

(a personal reflection)

This time last year, one of the largest macho dancing gay bars in Metro Manila, "Home Base"*, had their biggest event of the year. They celebrated their 10th year anniversary, to commemorate a decade's existence from being just-another girlie bar along Roxas Blvd. to being the premier (and most expensive) gay bars in that area.

At that time, my friends and I were only neophyte regulars -- we just started going to that bar two months prior. But with each of us meeting and developing relationships with our own partners from that bar, we became frequent regulars, as often as going twice on weekends. 

Thus, taking part of a historic moment for the bar was exciting for us. We were looking forward to the "big night", or what bars call their special events, for weeks. 

Talk about "big night" -- that night turned out to be one of our biggest nights for the year.

Time In, Arriving Late

After arriving in Manila last night from a business trip, I wanted to grab some dinner before going home. My two friends, Mary and Ringo*, were already in their respective homes as it was already past 9 PM on a work night. So I had another option -- meet up with a macho dancer before he goes to work.

Yeah it might be a bit far-fetched idea, like "where did that come from?" or "huh, of all the people you could have dinner with?" But having a hunky or cute guy to accompany you to eat didn't sound too bad. I just had to pay for his meal, nothing more. 

I invited Russell*, who has been my dinner partner a few times already. I knew he was still available at that time. In our previous dinner, we started around 1030 PM and he went to the bar around 1130 already, 30 minutes late. So inviting him for dinner that late a night didn't worry me that much...

Bikini Blues

Panahon na ng summer o tag-init sa Pilipinas. At siyempre, sa industriya ng gay bar, sa panahong ito naglilipana ang samu't saring bikini open na ginaganap sa mga "big night" event ng bar. Sa isip-isip ng mga may-ari ng gay bar,  papatok sigurado ito sa mga matrona at baklang tigang, makakita lang ng mga lalaking naka-jubad. Kaya't pampa-attract ng customer, taun-taon nila ito ginagawa.

Kung gaanong ikinatutuwa ng mga customer ang event na ito, ganoon naman ikinasasakit ng ulo ng mga ilang nagtatrabaho sa gay bar ang mga event na ito. Sa pakikipag-usap ko sa ilang mga macho dancers, ito ang mga natutunan ko kung bakit nila kinaiinisan ang mga big night tulad ng bikini open:

• Rehearsal na naman?: "E kaka-big night lang noong nakaraang linggo?" Ito ang madalas nilang reklamo. Syempre, sa isang event, kailangang mag-ensayo ang mga lalaki sa kanilang mga bagong summer-themed choreography o pag-rampa o blocking sa stage. Ibig sabihin nito, papasok muli sila nang mas maaga, dalawang oras bago ang opening ng bar. Hindi lang isang araw, kundi buong lingo bago ang event. Mababawasan sila ng oras ng tulog at "mapupuyat." Minsan, kung late, may kaltas pa sa daily budget at pagagalitan.   
• Hindi isasali ang mga hindi maganda ang katawan: Kung may tiyan, tanggal. Kung patpat, tanggal. Hindi lahat ng macho dancer sa bar kasali; mga 15 lang mula sa 30. Malas naman ng mga tanggal, ang unang iisipin. Actually, iniisip ng mga hindi kasali na swerte pa nga sila. At least, walang pressure sa rehearsal at sa paghatak ng customer. Makatutulog pa sila nang mas matagal. Pampalaki rin ng tiyan yun. 
• May bikini ka na, may kaltas ka pa: Madalas, ang bar ang magbibigay ng bikining isusuot ng mga macho dancers na kasali sa competition. Iisipin ng mga kalahok, uy salamat sa bago kong bikini na hindi ko naman maisusuot sa beach. Kala nila thank you lang yun? Hindi, ikakaltas ng bar sa budget na nga nilang maliit ang presyo ng bikini. Hindi ko lang alam kung gawain yan sa mga iba ring bar.
• Bagsakan ng drinks ang labanan: Syempre dahil bikini open, pagandahan ng katawan ang labanan, diba? May mga judges naman na mag-determine kung sino mananalo, diba? Mali. Kahit may judges, mga 25%-50% lang ang boto nila. Pera-pera ang labanan, at idadaan ito sa bagsakan ng drinks mula sa guest. Kung sinong contestant ang may pinakamalaking naipasok na benta ng drinks, siya ang mananalo.    
• Saan naman ako hahatak ng customer: Dahil event ito at bagsakan ng drinks ang labanan, kailangang magyaya ang macho dancer ng kani-kaniyang customer. Kaso, nahihiyang mag-imbita ng guest ang karamihan ng macho dancer, at kailangan pa nilang kapalan ang mukha para mag-aya. Baka raw isipin ng guest na piniperahan lang sila para manalo sa competition. Saan naman lulugar ang naiipit na macho dancer sa sitwasyong ito?

Matapos naman ang bikini open na event, naisip niyo ba kung saan napupunta ang mga bikini? Syempre, sa mga macho dancers na yun. Maaari naman nilang gamitin yun sa kanilang pagsasayaw. At least, may ipampapalit na siya sa bawat gabi. 

Eh paano kung madalas may competition na kailangang mag-bikini na ibibigay ng gay bar? Siguradong magtatambakan lang ng samu't saring saluwal ang aparador ng macho dancer sa kanilang bahay. May blue. May pink. May zebra stripes. May glittery. May t-back. May print ng "Kiss Me" sa harap. Sa sobrang dami na ng makukulay at magagarang underwear ng mga MD, ibinibigay na lang nila ang mga iba sa mga kaibigan o sa mga baguhan. Yung mga baguhan na lang mamroblema kung saan itatago ang mga bikining nakakahiyan namang isuot sa labas.  

Syempre, kailangang itago ang mga iyon, lalo na sa mga bahay ng mga macho dancer na hindi alam ang kanilang tunay na trabaho. Nang itanong ko kung sino ang naglalaba ng mga underwear, sinabi ng isa na siya mismo ang naglalaba para walang makakita. Yung isa naman, nahihiya pa niyang sagot, "Yung nanay ko kasi siya naglalaba ng lahat ng damit ko." Nabuking kaya siya? "Hindi na lang tinanong ng nanay ko kung saan nanggaling yun," dagdag niya. "Eh paano ba naman, kung wala ka ring panahong maglaba ng damit, makikita rin yun na nakatambak kasama ang mga nagamit ko nang damit?"

Siguradong maglilipana na ulit ngayong tag-init ang mga iba't ibang klaseng bikini. Kahit hindi na ito usong isuot ng mga lalaking nagpupunta sa beach, mapipilit pa rin mauso ito ng mga gay bar dahil sa mga big night event nila. Kung ito ang siyang nagpapaligaya sa mga nag-iinit na customer, ito rin naman ang siyang nagpapa-init ng ulo ng mga macho dancer.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com

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Photocredit: "Blue Bikini" by Jeff Boss (http://fineartamerica.com/featured/blue-bikini-jeff-boss.html)

What is "Bagsak ng Drinks"?

Da Who?: Macho Dancer wants to return to "Home Base" after two weeks of absence. Manager of "Home Base" said he can only return once "mag-bagsak ng" 100 drinks. MD bargained, until drinks required from him were lowered from 100 to 50 to 30. One night, Rich Guest of  MD made "bagsak" 15 drinks, with 15 drinks remaining that MD needs to shoulder. Now MD is having a hard time to pay off the remaining 15 drinks.

"Bagsak" is a term used in macho dancing bars or hosto bars that denotes guarenteed purchase or assurance of payment for a specified number of drinks. The word "bagsak ng drinks" was maybe coined in reference to the many bottles of beer being "dropped" on the table once a customer buys for the boys.

How do macho dancers and hostos use this bagsak system? Bagsak, as used in a sentence and as used in actual bar situations:

1. As Votes for Big Night Competitions: Nanalo si Bantay ng "Mr Hot Body in Outrageous Bikini Design 2010" dahil nag bagsak ang matronang ex-lawyer guest niya ng 150 drinks. Bawat drink kasi ay 1 puntos para sa scores. 

(Bantay won the "Mr Hot Body in Outrageous Bikini Design 2010" competition because his aged-woman ex-lawyer guest guaranteed to pay 150 drinks. One drink is equivalent to 1 point

2. To return working in the bar after long period of absence: Hindi pumapayag si manager Jonnalyn na bumalik si Badong kung hindi siya magbagsak ng 100 drinks. Iniisip kasi ng bar na binahay siya, at gusto lang bumalik dahil natikman na ng baklang guest niya kaya't naghiwalay na.

(Manager Jonnalyn wouldn't allow Badong to return to the bar if he won't guarantee sales of 100 drinks. This is because the bar thinks that Badong was "housed" by his gay guest and now wants to return because his guest has tasted him already and thus, has separated).

3. For the customer to pay for remaining drinks to reach the dancer's quota of the month: Dahil kulang pa si Manoy ng 30 drinks para maabot ang quota, binagsakan siya ng kanyang koreanang guest na si Jung Li Bee ng 30 drinks. Ayan naka-quota na si Manoy. Sa susunod na buwan kaya ulit? 

(Because Manoy was 30 drinks-short to reach the monthly quota, his Koreana guest Jung Li Bee bought him 30 drinks. There, Manoy reached the quota. How about for next month?)

4. The only number of drinks that a customer will pay for that night: Si baklang Felicidad ay ayaw na gumastos nang malaki, kaya sinabi niya sa waiter na 10 drinks na ang ibagsak sa kanyang kasintahang macho dancer na si Dagul.

(Felicidad didn't want to spend that much so he told the waiter that he'll pay for only 10 drinks guaranteed that night, for his lover-dancer Dagul).

So back to the blind item. Da who is this MD? His code name is the last name of a once-famous commercial model whose first name is that of an international educational institution (Oxford? Marshall? Nanyang in Singapore?).

Skemper na!

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com; Follow at twitter: @gbgoer

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photocredits: www.free-stockphotos.com