Monday, March 21, 2011

The Signature Macho Dance Moves

The routine: A macho dancer enters from the back stage as the DJ introduces him. The dancer, in his sando or just in his tight boxer briefs, goes center-stage.

His first move is a typical one -- his thumbs are first tucked into his underwear. As his body sways slowly from left to right, his clenched left hand moves to cover his right shoulder. Then he brings down his left hand, his body sways to the other way, and his right hand moves to the left shoulder.

With both hands, he reaches for the top of his head, running his fingers through his hair. He lunges his chest forward then pulls back, making a seductive S-like wavy movement.

Then, wherever he goes next -- to the left, to the right, down to the ground, turn around -- is part of the over-all usual routine, which for a regular gay bar customer, can get a bit predictable.  

To break off from this routine, some experienced macho dancers infuse some unique steps in their dance. These "signature dance moves" are the dancers' own interpretation of acting sexy, or seducing potential customers, or mimicking bed-time action. Because of their uniqueness, these steps are branded as the dancer's, in the hopes of making them rise above the other regular dancers, and be memorable to the customer.

Here are some of the dance moves associated to certain macho dancers in the gay bars I go to. As I can't take pictures inside these gay bars, I've searched the internet for the closest interpretation. Almost all pics here are nude to semi-nude, so please take note that most men do these moves while wearing their underwear or short shorts, and NOT in the nude.

Continue after the jump:

Note: Some photos are NSFW (not safe for work).

1. The "Caress My Own Bubble Butt" Move
This was done by a former macho dancer, who could not take his shirt off because of weight issues. So he just uses and exposes his main asset.  

2. The "Slide Across the Stage" Move
Imagine Tom Cruise's iconic dance slide in "Risky Business", except without the Ray-Bans, without the long sleeved shirt, and without the face of Tom Cruise. What you'll get is a macho dancer "surfing" across the stage. A variation which I've seen is when the dancer runs briefly from one end to kneel and slide on-stage. Just major lubrication required.

3. The "Humping The Floor (with You Underneath)" Move
I see this done a lot by macho dancers, but I think this may have originated as someone's signature move. The only guys who can execute this properly are those with slow, smooth, wave-like moves. They can convince the stunned audience, while looking intently into their eyes, that they are the ones he's humping underneath him. Those who quickly hump the floor like animals are just horny.

4. The "Wall is My Friend (or Foe)" Move
Macho dancers can use the entire stage as his props, and the wall (backdrop) is readily available. One macho dancer likes to lean his back on it, while fondling himself as he looks directly to the crowd. Others like to bang on the wall just to startle the crowd and get attention. Hard and rough, or soft and sensitive?

5. The "Look At My Sexy Shaking Booty" Move
This macho dancer will lock both his hands, raise them over his head, squat a bit, then sway his hips (kembot) to swing his booty sideways. This move looks familiar though. Isn't this a dance step from an international pop-R&B diva?

6. The "Kiss My Yummy Biceps" Move
One of the easiest moves to make, especially if the guy has great biceps, nice shoulders, and square chest. The guy can even make this more seductive if he closes his eyes and licks his arms after the kiss. And some gays have armpit fetish.

7. The "Hula" Move
This macho dancer does not really do "hula" as in the Haiwaian dance. But his extended arms, with fingers pointing to both directions, and shoulders doing a wave, have been mimicked by the tranny impersonators a few times, calling it "the hula" or "pearly shells." 


8. The "Kneel to Lie Down, Then Raise Myself As If Holding A Chain" Move
This is common in various gay bars, as one of the most seductive moves ever invented. But I feel this is an action that's very difficult to perfect, as one needs flexibility and a lot of muscular strength to have one continuous, smooth, unwobbly routine. Plus, the dancer's important muscle groups are accentuated -- the abs, the arms, the chest, the legs, the neck. All I can say after seeing this is... whew!  

9. The "Pole is My Dick Extension" Move
This can only be seen in gay bars with poles, and only the veterans can pull off this movement without looking cheesy. The most common is the masturbatory move -- sliding both hands up and down the pole. Some dancers will use both hands to hold on to the pole, then grind their hips and buttocks towards it. But the best I've seen is when the macho dancer faces the pole, holds it at the bottom with two hands, and while squatting, he works his way up in sequences while making his body wave in an S-like motion. My friends were stunned and speechless when they saw this two nights ago.


10. The "Can You Do This Tumbling Move?" Move
The one that shocked me was when a tall hunky macho dancer, while standing up, bended backwards to gyrate.This lasted about 5 seconds, then to my surprise, he did a gymnastic backwards tumble... in high boots. He stood up straight right after, with my applause. 

These are so far the most memorable signature dance steps I've seen in the past year. These moves are consciously incorprated into one's choreography, and can only be executed successfully with the right practice and the right body (a lot of muscle power is involved in most of these). Some are perhaps unconscious mannerisms that happened to look seductive on-stage.

As you noticed, I didn't mention anymore a particular move from the 90s -- the "rolling of the hands upwards towards the head, then bumping the forehead", which was the signature macho dance action. I see less and less macho dancers doing this (they got tired of it?). And if they so decide to use it, these are incorporated subtly into a longer routine, like rolling the hands quickly before reaching the sky or bending backwards.  

Patrons can only notice these moves if they return to the bar frequently and really observe the men.  Do these guys really stand out when they do their signature moves? Perhaps. As Russell, a macho dancer in Kingdom Come, told me when I tabled him, "See, even if you didn't know my name, you only remembered the one who slid to exit the stage." True enough. I requested for that cute tall boy, who purposely put that slide step to be noticed.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
twitter: @gbgoer


  1. Well that was oddly informative, haha. Major credit to your descriptive abilities in trying to capture all these moves, hehe.

  2. whtzup!! my name is marky"""
    gusto ko sana magsanay ng macho dance,, matagal kunang gusto matuto nito""" pwde nyo ba akong araling sumayaw???? pwde kyo mag comment sa fb ko,,(


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