Friday, January 7, 2011

Date with a Macho – 3rd Party Perspective

I’ve been dateless since I don’t know when. Three weeks perhaps. This is quite odd since there was a time I used to go out with a macho dancer or hosto almost once or twice every week.

This past holiday season, I’ve been meeting up with friends, instead of boylets. And in two instances, there was always another table with a sight I am familiar with – the date of a guest with a macho or hosto.

Like right now. One of those said couples is just at another table in front of me. (Ang chismoso! Haha!)

How did I know?

First, the age difference is a dead give-away -- one slightly older gay guy (or woman) and a young, fresh-looking guy or boylet. Especially if the boylet is handsome (or above average in looks, kanto-boy-wise), lean, well-built or buff (at least, not chubby), has well-styled hair (colored hair with streaks or Korean-pop-inspired that may give clues on his "profession"), slim-fit jeans, and of course, white leather pointy shoes (but not applicable every time, because these dancers also wear flip flops outside the bar).

Ooh, the boy just fixed his hair, which looked as if it took forever to comb and gelled that way. Maybe, tell-tale signs of his vanity, as you well know how important it is in his industry to look good? (Again, ano ba paki-alam ko sa kanila?)

Second, the slight awkwardness and distance show that they are not buddies, classmates, officemates or barkada. The couple in front of me looks like they are on their first or second date. They are seated in front of each other. No exchange of witty one-liners, no boisterous laughter, no snickering. Only polite chuckles. Quiet getting-to-know-you conversation. The comfort usually seen among long-time buddies seems to be missing.

A third sign is if the older gay guy instructs the boy to order, and then foots the bill. That’s more difficult to observe where I am seated now. (Usisero!)

But if this set-up took place in a fast food counter, the guest would be the one in-line, standing in front of the cashier, with the boy behind his guest. As the guest informs the cashier of their orders, the boy would just be quiet. After the order, the boy would then offer to carry the food tray or find a table for them. The boy "offers his help", as he is possibly nahihiya to the kind gesture of his guest treating him. 

Well, I’ll just give this couple in front of me the benefit of the doubt. When I go out on dates with my boys, I simply want to adapt to the environment or blend-in, and not appear too different from the boy I am with. If he’ll be in shorts and slippers, I’ll also be wearing the same. I intend to to look as if we’re just barkada. If somehow I'd feel like I'm standing out, I'd feel too self-conscious from being stared-at by other people, who might suspect something fishy as to why a mid-20s gay guy is in the company of a cute straight boylet, (and paying for both meals) thus making me feel awkward just by being with him.

Wait, I seem to have described myself, based on what I am seeing in this couple in front me. It takes one to know one.

Pero, swear. Mukha talagang baklita at hosto/dancer yung magkasama sa harap ko!

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
email:; Follow at twitter: @gbgoer

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