Thursday, February 10, 2011

Reasons Why Your Macho Dancer is Absent At Work

In light of my going to Kingdom Come two nights ago, and not seeing Stewart there, even if he knew I was going to the bar this week...

Scenario: It's your second or third time going to this gay bar. A few weeks ago on your first visit, you  tabled this particular macho dancer. He looks like he can pass as a local reality show celebrity, has a lean figure, tall, in his early-to-mid 20s, charming, and courteous. You were looking forward to spend intimate time with him in this bar, as you had imagined just hours before during dinner. So you enter into the bar, and after a few minutes chatting with the gay floor manager, you found out from her, voila...

He did not show up for work.

To name the ten most common reasons (real ones or fabricated) why he was not present at work that night*, in random order, after the jump:

*Note: This assumes he is coming back to work, maybe the next day or the next week, and does not assume he has left the bar or resigned already.

1. May sakit (Sick, sick, sick) - Easy alibi that's usually accepted
    > Everyone is entitled to a sick leave, right? Even macho dancers, who work in the wee hours of the night up to the early morning, sometimes without even eating. You used this excuse countless times at school or work before, and he has the privilege of using this as well, especially if he really IS sick.
    > But what if he has been sick for a few days or a week already? Either he is lying in bed, suffering from a terrible disease, or lying to everyone else as he is in bed in the arms of another. 

    Truthness Level: Dubious. But give the benefit of the doubt

2. Pinapahinga / Nagpapahinga (Resting currently, or Rest in Peace from the bar)
    > You'll hear this excuse from gay managers, so you'd think that the macho dancer has been exhausting himself too much at work that he needed some rest. But, this is a term used extensively by managers to cover up a boy's long periods of absence, of about a week or so. The reality is, either he was "forced to rest" by management due to delinquency (showing up late too often, not reaching the drink quota, etc), or he has been AWOL for weeks already and the management had to lie and cover up his absence.

    Truthness Level: Cover-up!

3. Emergency of some sort
    > Family-related. Relative-related. House-related. His own body-related. Understandable, if once in a while. If true, expect he'll be working very hard the next days to pay for the medical bills or repairs. Prepare your cellphone for countless text message, and maybe your wallet as well, especially if you've become his regular guest.
    Truthness Level: Give the benefit of the doubt. But can get dubious if used often.

4. Tinamad (Got too lazy to earn his measly budget for the day)
    > Especially if he's not the family's breadwinner, as most "heads of families" feel the need to go to work everyday. You're more likely to get this response from the boy himself, than from the manager. They claim they don't have regular customers anyway on weekdays. I don't understand the boys with this work ethic -- they work in this industry to "raise themselves from poverty", but don't exert effort to at least show up at work. Sayang ang daily budget! Fair enough if the budget is lower than their commute expenses.
    a. Variation. Umuulan at mahirap sumakay o bumabaha (It's raining and commuting will be difficult)
    > You should've just picked him up in his place in Tondo or Pasay or Caloocan or Cavite, after your work in Makati or Ortigas, then brought him to his work place. You could've had dinner along the way (Opportunity!!! Malamig pa kapag umuulan). Unless you don't have a car, or not enough money to pay for taxi. Poor you will do all the effort to make him go to work. And what do you get in return? Love? 

    Truthness Level: High. More often true. Unless he uses this alibi when it's not raining at all.

5. Na-Late at hindi na pumasok (Decided not to go to work, because he won't make it on time due to waking up late or dinner-date didn't end on time)
    > True in bars with very strict late policies (Home Base). When the macho dancer arrives way after the call time, the mean ugly supervisor at the door refuses them entry. So the boy just goes elsewhere. Perhaps, to drink with buddies. Or meet up again with the guest they had a date with a few hours prior.
    > But for the other bars with very lax policies, only a fine of P50 per hour for the boy, you won't hear this reason often. You'll see boys in their casual clothes with a knap sack, coming in at 11pm. But, why did you the customer make it on time at 930pm? Talo mo pa sila. They're the ones working in the bar, and not you, right?

    Truthness Level: Highly probable. 

6. Umuwi sa probinsya (Went to his hometown to visit his real wife family and/or children)
    > True if the time is nearing the holidays or special occasions of his family members. He'd be like an OFW coming home with his hard-earned money, for his parents (if still living or not seperated), for his siblings (esp if he's sending them to school), for his children (if he admits to having one or two), or for his real wife (if they're still together, which he may not admit during your first meeting). He's sweet to them like that.

   Truthness Level: True at times. Doubtful, if used as a reason for many times already.

7. Napagod dahil may lakad kanina (Got too tired because of an errand the entire day)
    > Most offices are only open during the day. So, being night-shifters, they sacrificed their precious sleep for an important errand to the embassy, NBI, DFA, LTO, SM-MOA, etc. After their day-long struggle with commuting and traffic and queues and payments, they opted to miss work and rest at home. At least you know he is a responsible man. Unless his errand was with another guest. Ibang kwento na yan.

    Truthness Level: True at times. Can be dubious, if used as a reason for many times already.

8. May kasamang guest sa labas ng bar (Date with a guest that's not you)
    > This is a reason that's never ever admitted by the macho dancer or the manager. The boy will never squeal. Even if the bar's managers knew about this date, and they usually don't, they'll just come up with some excuse. It seems like a conspiracy, as they want you to think that you are also the apple of the boy's eyes, even if the boy is enjoying some other fruit in the market.
    > But 'teh, what do you expect? You are not his only customer. You are not his only source of income. Nor his only source of sex as well. 

    Truthness Level: Again, they will never admit this truth.

9. Nagbakasyon (Just on a vacation...)
    > 2-3 days usually. Can be as long as a week. Where? Can be in the province or in a resort or just at home.
    But the real question is, with whom? And there's one thing in the bar management's minds -- it's with their regular customer. That's why most who use this alibi are required to make "bagsak" drinks when they come back, or if they wish to return. Because their absence resulted to loss of sales for the bar, which the boy needs to return.
    Think about it, with their measly budget and tips, can they actually afford to go to Boracay for 5 days (not get earnings + actually spending)? Maybe.

    Truthness Level: They use this alibi if true. But like above, they will never admit they went on vacation with their customer.

10. Day Off
    > Oh, you didn’t know that today is his day off from work? Too bad. You two are not that close then. But wait, why go to a gay bar on a Sunday or Monday night? Fine, you were bored. Understood.

    Truthness Level: You’re stupid to not know when his day off is, that’s the truth.

So you're already there inside the bar filled with hunky men or boys-next-door waiting to be tabled. Do you really want to wait it out for that specific macho dancer whom you spent time with last time, as he was that special? Perhaps, as you think that the money you'd be spending tonight is investment for a future friendship or relationship, which you don't want to risk. It's your call.

But my advice: get someone new! This is your opportunity to get to know that other macho dancer you've been eyeing the last time. He saw you looking at him countless times that night, but you didnt want to stare long as you were seated beside the original boylet. Malay mo, he may be better for you.

Anyway, you won't lose much if he's missing-in-action and you'd get someone else, except maybe for about a few thousand pesos only. But it's original boylet's loss. Just as there are fish in the sea, there are lots of other men in this macho dancing industry.

Skemper na!

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
email:; Follow at twitter: @gbgoer

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