Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Private Lap Dances

A lap dance is a type of erotic dance performed in some strip clubs in which the patron is seated, and the dancer is either in immediate contact (contact dancing) with the patron, or within a very short distance.” – Wikipedia

I don’t often hear this term used in Manila. Maybe it’s used in the upscale girlie bars where the male patrons request for a solo dance with the girl stripper of his choice. Or it may be used during private off-bar bridal showers and hen nights, where the bride-to-be is seated by herself, perhaps strapped or hand-cuffed to her seat, with the hired male erotic dancer seducing her one-on-one. But used as a term in the gay bars of Manila, I haven't, yet.

We are more familiar with “macho dancing”, where the male stripper is dancing on-stage from a distance. It differs hugely from a "lap dance" as no physical contact between the dancer and the customer is involved. The nearest one-on-one experience a customer can get with a dancer is during the "area", when an all-the-way dancer approaches the customer for a tip. But this act only involves the naked dancer standing beside the customer for a few seconds. No private nights, no personal dance, nor intimate moment there. 

That is, if the customer is willing to take the dancer into a private room, called the VIP Room or “Showcase”, in some bars. This is where those moments in private, like your own special dance, can happen.

I had my first lap dance, not in Manila, but in liberated New York, exactly six years ago this time. It was in a gay stripper club called "Boy's Room" (now closed), which was known for lap dances. Roaming inside the bar and chatting with the customers were the male strippers in their undies, while some shirtless go-go boys danced on the bar ledge. Getting a lap dance would only involve the customer whispering to the stripper of his choice to ask for a personal dance, of course, with a $10 tip.

The guy I got was this young lean Latino guy, who was only wearing some tight fight short shorts and sneakers. Whispering into his ear, I requested for a lap dance. Here are excerpts (edited) from my personal blog: 
"He led me to one of the couches, made me sit, and then he began dancing in front of me. It looked like any ordinary slithering dance, with his legs straddling over my own. He sat down on my lap, facing me, while his torso was gyrating. His two arms were on both of my shoulders. He was looking at me; his eyes zeroing in on what seemed to be the one and only person in the room -- me. I froze in that moment, maybe too shy to make a move, or ignorant as what I may or may not do."
But what transpired afterwards was more than an ordinary lap dance. What I actually got was a lip-locking, french kissing, make-out session. Here are more excerpts (edited):
"After about a few minutes as I thought his dance was finishing, he leaned on me and started pecking my neck with his lips. Wow! And because his collarbone and shoulder was in front of my lips, I just started kissing him in that area as well. After that, he moved to my lips and started kissing me. As in french kissing. 
What it may have looked like
OMG! Does a lap dance really include a lip-to-lip, tongue-to-tongue make out... which lasted even longer than the 2-3 minute dance? I dont think so. 
While we were kissing, he slipped his hand inside my shirt to feel my chest. He even started unbuttoning my pants, to reach what was down there. But, Hahaha! I did not want to make a scandal! So I shook my head, said "no, no", while smiling. Oddly, he started kissing me again. (Goodness, how many times have i used the word "kiss" here?)...
...So when I thought his dance was finally over, I gave him the money, which as I know, was $10 good for 10 minutes. But because of all the making out, it seemed like we were doing it for 15 to 20 minutes. Apparently, our session cost me $20... 
As I handed him the money, he said he'd offer me a free two-minute dance... then we started kissing again, more passionately, to the point that we fell on the couch, lying there while he was hugging me and his legs all over me. Gosh, we looked like two horny lovers, in front of some older guys waiting for their own lap dances."

While what happened to me in gay New York was a bit on the extreme side, I wouldn't expect it to happen again in Manila's macho dancing bars. Perhaps I would only experience the similar physical closeness of a Western lap dance inside Manila's bars.

But how about that sense of intimacy? That was the illusion that's put into the customer's heads, of a guy in the buff offering a special one-on-one extremely close dance, specifically for him or her. I was not sure if Manila could offer the same, then.

I knew that so-called private dances would happen inside the VIP Room, such as when the gay manager from Lord* Gay Bar in QC tried to sell the VIP Room to us as "inclusive of three solo dances from your chosen model." But from my experience, sessions inside these VIP Rooms just turned into something else. One turned into a simple kwentuhan, getting-to-know you session with the dancers (see previous post), while the other in the "Pero Medyo Bastos"* Gay Bar turned into a karaoke singing session.

Apparently, the more learned or experienced dancers would try to avoid any type of performance, may it be a literal dance number or the figurative "song and dance." They would sense the customer's own hesitation or naivety, who are mostly first-timers, so they'd try any way to divert their customer's attention towards the conversation. Once the customer would ask for the dance, their usual excuses would be "nahihiya ako (I am too shy)" or "hindi talaga ako marunong sumayaw (I don't really know how to dance)" or "hindi ba't mas masaya na lang makwentuhan? (Isn't it better to just talk?)." These they may do to ensure a safe physical distance, despite the intimacy promoted inside a private room. Of course, other customers may feel entitled and proceed to do something more than just a simple dance.

Then last weekend, a macho dancer showed me how a private dance in Manila could be experienced. That guy recently transferred to Lord* Gay Bar, and I told him about my previous non-eventful escapades inside that bar's VIP rooms. Since I also wanted to have some alone time with him, more than the usual kwentuhan we do in his previous bar, I got one of the VIP rooms in that gay bar. If written in my personal blog, it would be as such:
"I entered the room alone, and sat down in the room's only couch. He entered a few minutes after, with a shirt on and mini-shorts. I slouched on the couch, and asked him "so ano na? (what now?)."
He approached where I was seated. He took off his shirt. I looked up, to see a half-naked smiling guy, who raised both his arms and placed them behind his head. With eyes closed, he would turn his head from left to right, as if kissing his biceps. He lifted his right leg, and placed it on the couch beside my left leg. From his head, I looked down, and saw his navel right in front of me. His movements were very slow, like a pelvic thrusting action in slow motion.
He then proceeded to remove the mini-shorts he was wearing. He got my hand, and placed them on top of his raised thigh, near his hips. I giggled slightly, as I got embarrassed. He assured me that it was perfectly okay, especially with what he would allow me to do right after.
After the third song, and supposed third dance, I just asked him to sit beside me on the couch. For the next hour, we ended up talking intimately about each other, in a position often seen done by couples at home -- him lying down on the couch, with his head on top of my lap as I was seated, crouched over, with my arms on top of his chest. At 5AM that early morning, I proceeded to leave the bar, more than satisfied with the special dance that just happened an hour before."

This most recent private dance, I thought, could only happen as it did given the circumstances that night. One, it was done privately inside a secluded room. I couldn't imagine getting the same physical closeness if that personal dance was offered at the general-public audience area of the gay bars. Well, it could happen, as how I see some macho dancers going down from the stage to passionately kiss kunwari their matronly guests. But that would just look rather odd.

However, privacy does not always necessarily result to an intimate encounter. At best, private dances inside VIP rooms would allow skin contact, to heighten that one-on-one seduction. The intimacy that the private dance was supposed to be selling, and the customer would be yearning for, could perhaps only be given by a freely-obliging dancer. Or unless, he was handsomely paid.

P.S. Moments after the lap dance in New York, I realized that the young lean Latino stripper was also gay. "Thanks, honey! Muwah!" (in a distinct "Ola Chica" accent) were his final words to me.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
email: char.affairs@gmail.com
twitter: @gbgoer

Photo credits: http://tribes.tribe.net/gogaygoboys/photos/a78f1041-78ce-447f-9e8e-4489ba25dff7


  1. My, my GB! We definitely need to catch up sometime, haha. You have way too many interesting stories I'd love to hear more about. LOL

  2. Hi rocky! Hahaha! If we couldn't meet soon, at least there's the blogosphere to keep ourselves updated about each other. :D

  3. hi alam mo na ba na may pinaty sa olution gay bar? macho dancer yata

  4. yeah nabalitaan ko na may binaril. not confirmed. i also dont know who though

  5. wait...ang alam ko nagkabarilan lang ah. matagal na daw nagkaka-inisan or something. am not so sure about the parties involved being MDs; from what was whispered to me, they were some other bar personnel. (ang chika nga naman *wink*)

  6. @cinderella when will you update your blog? my friend is asking me why you aren't updating.

  7. Congrats to GB Goer for your blog's success! I literally read your blog like a book since i first stumbled upon it early last week. When I realized your blog would be a good read, I just had to do it chronologically and control myself from jumping ahead. I just finished awhile ago, and like any other delicious book, i was craving for more :)

    Treating each month's as a chapter and each entry as a subplot, i enjoyed your encounters peppered with wit, antic, romanticism and practical knowledge.

    I agree your style isn't wikipedia-ish, but instead yours is like one of those in cozy fiction books about a wandering chocolatier with real recipes interspersed between equally delicious encounters.

    I'm also a GB fanatic ~ with my first one in the now defunct Wild Boys in Cubao nearly 9 years ago (now its a cheap motel for weary provincial travellers). And almost all of your experiences are reminiscent of mine (sans the breakfasts, long drives, romantic "relationships" and a painful vendetta). And because of being introspective also, i would find myself nodding alone in agreement as i finish off each entry.

    At first the codes confused me (maybe because i couldnt link them well) but i broke it somehow (thanks to one entry in June/July!) and made the mental images of your encounters more vivid and realistic.

    I'm "giddy-ly" looking forward to your next entry. Of course i'm rooting also for the hero of this novel. I hope find the prince on his next conquest!

    All the best!


  8. emailed :D


  9. G.B. goer kung may sex guru na term sayo Gaybar Guru... ikaw na! the best ka! eto ang binabasa ko bago ko matulog.. thanks for this blog

  10. Hi Donnie

    Thank you for your comment! I know that there are lots of GB fanatics out there, and I am glad that this blog has reached out to a few of them somehow. I am also surprised that you not only read the posts but also the comments as well (where the "wikipedia-ish" came from).

    "like one of those in cozy fiction books wandering chocolatier with real recipes interspersed between equally delicious encounters." hahaha! i love the comparison. that line reminds me of blurbs or reviews written on the backs of paperback novels. I believe you're a writer too. or at least, used to write?

    Again, thank you for reading the blog and for rooting constantly for its hero! I hope you've also learned, while still having fun inside these bars, as he did.

    All smiles,
    GB Goer

  11. Hi Anonymous hahaha thanks! i guess hindi naman ako gay bar guru. sadyang mahilig lang ako mag observe at isulat ang aking mga nakikita.

  12. Hi my name is Gonzalo and Im going to go to NY and I would like to know if you can tell me the name of some lap dancing bars. Thank you so very much.

  13. That one is wit. There are many lap dancers because exotic dancing jobs are really in demand. Easy money as many want.

  14. That one is wit. There are many lap dancers because exotic dancing jobs are really in demand now a days. It is a job for people who want easy money.


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