Sunday, July 10, 2011

Overheard at the Gay Bar Banyo

One of the benefits of being a gay male in a gay bar is sharing the same comfort room with the male models working there. Wait, that did not sound right. I'm not talking about the peaking that happens between two men standing beside two adjacent urinals. Nor am I talking about an illicit quickie or "song" number done in a locked cubicle. Pervert!

Let me rephrase my first statement: One of the benefits of being a chismoso gay male in a gay bar is sharing the same comfort room with the male models working there.

When I go on bathroom breaks in the gay bar, I get to chance upon one or two dancers on their phones. I don't intend to listen in to their conversations while doing my own business. But because they always seem to shout loudly while on the phone, thinking they're still at the customer area (ever notice how people shout loudly on the phone if the background noise is too loud?), I can't help but hear what they're saying. 

Here, I compiled some oft-mentioned lines, including a few shady ones, that I've heard when a macho dancer is on the phone in the rest room. The chismoso in me can't help but over-analyze what I overhear inside those rooms.

MD: Mamaya na kita tawagan ha. Dito ako sa bar.
(I'll call you later. I'm here in the bar)

Theory: While seated, macho dancer saw his phone ringing and rushed to the toilet. The special someone or relative has been calling, so he needed to answer this time. The caller wanted to exchange sweet nothings with the MD, but because the MD was working, he had to put the phone down. He would've wanted to talk more, but he got too embarrassed with all the people coming and going at the restroom.

MD: Kelan ko ibibigay sayo yung 5 thousand?
(When can I give you the 5 thousand pesos?)

Theory: The caller urgently needed some money from the MD, possibly as payment for loaned money to buy some equipment for his car or motorbike. But the past few days were lucky for the MD, after receiving a few thousands worth of satisfaction from his big-time guests. He could finally re-pay the caller, but he needed to set-up a schedule for them to meet up.

MD: Basta... Ayaw mo maniwala sakin?... Sinabi ko na dati... Basta nga!
(Just because.... Don't you believe me?... I told you already before... Because I said so!)

Theory: A shouting match was going on in the phone. The MD was trying to explain something, either where he was or who he was with or where he'd get his next fortune, which the caller wasn't buying. Of course, Mr. Macho Dancer was trying to disprove that he's a chronic liar. Ah basta, maniwala ka na lang sakin!

MD: Wala pa nga sa akin yung pera.
(I still don't have the money yet)

Theory: The MD was already getting irritated that he couldn't get the money he promised for the caller, who was possibly a special someone. That special someone had been asking and asking when the MD can buy her that special bracelet or blouse or trip to Boracay. Or maybe that special someone had been asking the MD to repay some debt. But, not to worry, the MD has an idea how to get the money already. He just needed to find out when he'd get the money (the same time as his target customer would arrive).

MD: Tagal na nga kita hindi nakikita.
(I haven't seen you for a long time)

Theory: The MD had to answer this call because this former customer had quite an impact on him -- either as a big lover or big spender. The MD has been telling the caller sweet nothings just to seduce her  into coming back to the bar. Or maybe, the caller was a KTV hostess the MD met a few months ago, and he was wondering when they can do the dirty deed again.

MD: Nandito pa siya. Mamaya ka na pumunta.
(He/she is still here. Come later)

Theory: An MD was talking to one of his numerous on-the-side customers, who wanted to visit him at the bar. But the MD was still busy milking some drinks out of his current big-time customer, who's a controlling paranoid matrona or an overly jealous gay man. The MD would then advice her on right timing that this other woman could arrive for some private lovey-dovey.

MD: O sige sige na.
(Okay, okay).

Theory: The irritated MD wanted to say that the call has been too long already and he needed to go back to work (followed with the words "nag-aantay si customer"). Plus, sayang ang load.

As with any other dancing clubs and bars where loud music is blasted all through out the bar, the only quiet place inside its premises is the comfort room. The room's silence offers macho dancers to use their phones and clearly hear the person they're talking to. It also provides a place where they can do their mischievous deeds on the phone privately, without the prying ears of the other men in the dressing room.

When the customer's phone rings, he or she goes outside the bar to answer the phone. When the macho dancer's phone rings, he goes straight to the toilet to answer it. Unless, he wants to expose himself in his undies and boots / slippers outside in the streets. 

Thus when you receive a call from a macho dancer between 10PM to 5AM, expect him to be at the bathroom doing the call. What he was doing there at that time, you'd rather not think about it.  

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
twitter: @gbgoer

Photo credits:


  1. ang iikli naman, haha, bitin. lol

    natawa ako dun sa "Tagal na kita hindi nakikita" style na bulok! haha. pero syempre bentang benta yan dun sa kausap niya. :)

  2. @the green breaker they're short, because i dont spend too much time in the toilet. hahaha! i do #1s only. di bale, when I do the #2 in one of the gay bars, and hopefully, this won't happen EVER, i would listen more to what these men are talking about and write about it. =)


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