Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Touched: Part 2

(Continued from Part 1)

The gay bar goer then awaits for the first comfortable breaking of personal space. He has been visually aroused by the performances by the manly eye candy on stage, and is already eager to elevate this with the sense of touch.

But the gay man needs to wait. Especially if with the boy of his choice.

He can start feeling up the dime a dozen (or P100 each) all-the-way dancers as much as he wants to. The bigger gay bars openly release them to the customers who are eager to get close to the rock hard dicks of these less-than-quality men. In the smaller gay bars, these men in the nude go directly beside the customer (an act the bar terms as "area"), where, for a tip, they allow themselves and their rock-hard thingies to be tapped, squeezed, fondled, grasped, and even shockingly stroked repeatedly. But to do that with his preferred macho dancer may take more than a hundred pesos and a one-time visit.

Those who can’t wait are just eager to cop a feel. While the customer and dancer are seated right beside each other, tabled inside a gay bar, the gay man's fingers would start at the dancer's thighs, then inch its way towards the guy's most sensitive body part. Not wanting to be violated, the tabled dancer can subtly grasp the gay man's hands before it reaches his treasures, or shift his position to cover that area with his leg or arm. Or if the customer persists, the tabled dancer can inform his guest that he can swap with another guy who's more willing to do the dirty deed. That annoys the slightly intoxicated and visually aroused gay customer, who's thinking that men in this business should yield to physical advances made by the paying customer. Too bad for those who can’t wait -- what the want the most to grab actually flees, like a scared little birdie.

Those who are patient and wait for the right time treat going to the gay bar as going to a date. And as with first dates, their first “table” can start from the getting-to-know you stage, without any physical contact yet. Then as the customer returns as a regular guest, their desire for one-on-one intimacy increases, and the bodily contact lengthens. The macho dancer starts to trust, becomes comfortable, and lays his arms over his customer’s shoulder, from minutes to hours. The next few visits, the regular guest can find himself interlocking fingers with the man he or she has gotten to know more, possibly during the entire night. With that sense of trust, the macho dancer’s head presses against the shoulder of his customer, like a pillow on a bed’s head board. Later on, the customer can then experience the only body contact that tingles the most sensory nerve endings of both bodies – the kiss. What happens next in this set-up is what also usually happens at the end of every date – paying the bill.

I guess that two people can only freely break from personal boundaries once they have become more personal with each other.

And as a gay man, I feel that there’s just a deep longing for us gays to be touched. We’ve been raised not to hold hands with our male relatives when we’re scared. We’ve been avoiding a too-close embrace with guy friends to avoid being called harsh names in school. We’re even deprived to walk hand-in-hand with boyfriends inside family-friendly malls. The lack of open male physical touch in our society can lead to the gays' longing to be touched. Maybe that’s the reason for the prevalence of these gay-centric sex shops opening at night and acting as spas or massage centers. Aside from the cheap sex and so-called relaxation, we’re just yearning for the intimacy brought by the skin contact with another man’s body. Sha-shas (masseurs) get paid to touch our entire body. An extra fee allows us to touch them as well.

Hence, I am not surprised to constantly hear about the preference of gay men for the smaller seedy gay bars rather than the unwritten and unspoken no-touch rule of the bigger gay bars.

And this so-called one-on-one intimacy is what amateur macho dancers try to imitate. Notice how you would suddenly feel a gentle squeeze on your thigh when your tabled macho dancer asks for a little favor, like another drink or some cellphone load. And how you’d notice fingers running back and forth on your back and nape while you’re reaching out for your wallet as you pay your bill in the gay bar. And when the both of you part ways, you’d feel a dry kiss on your cheek. These men may perceive that the only thing a customer wants is to be touched, and that they can get away with anything they want just with seemingly unnoticeable physical contact here and there.  

Can we say that we really that sensitive to touch? We may tend to misread, or even over-read, how a simple gesture in a gay bar can mean so many things. The casual pressing of palms on the other’s upper thigh can lead to either intimacy or misunderstanding. The tapping of index fingers on the other’s hands can either lead to a higher after-bar tip or an untoward rejection.

Or I might just be over-thinking. I guess that weekend night, I was just craving for a man’s meaty hands to slide through my arms, shoulders, and back, while being visually stimulated by the half-naked dancer on-stage that I can’t touch.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
twitter: @gbgoer

Photo credits:


  1. madalas ka ba sa solution??? magkano bang entrance dun?? ang first order?? may mga macho dancers na ba dun?? (dati kasi modelling lang) may the way na ba dun??? magkano ang macho drinks?? balak kong pumunta,,baka masayang lang oras ko di naman pala maganda show..anu best na araw pagpunta?? sorry dami kong tanong...thanks and more power..i do enjoy reading your blog..kaya lang parang blind item kung anung gay bar na binibisita mo...hope you answer my query??? GOD BLESS!!!

  2. Hi Kamote. Solution Gay Bar? Not so much in the past months. Entrance Fee during regular non-big night days are P200 for men, P50 for women, and P60 for real baklas. I think it becomes higher on weekends for the baklas, like P120.

    MD Drinks are P300 (they say it's per hour, but MDs can finish one in 30-45 minutes). Guest drinks are around P100, i believe.

    Yes, there are macho dancers in Solution Gay Bar. Go to the 2nd floor. Best pumunta? If you want to be with a lot of people, then weekends. Time is anytime from 11pm to 2am, basta before 3am, because once 3am strikes, kalaban mo na mga girls from the girlie bars.

    I really intend to keep the real names of the gay bars a secret. May mystery, diba?

  3. thanks for the info.. funny can they distinguish a real man to a bakla??? like me , i dont look like a bakla but am one..kailangan ka bang kumembot at magsalita ng gay lingo??? lol!!

  4. for some reason, the guy collecting the entrance fees has an innate gaydar. hehe. seriously, i dont know. but i dont get charged with the higher entrance fee, except for some weekends when i am charged with P150.

  5. "The thinking is that when boys miss out on healthy same-sex affection, they eroticize all male touch."

    I just remembered my blog post when I read this controversial article. Read it below:

  6. keep posting g.b. kamote, pasama. haha

  7. I used to go to Dreamboyz every weekend. that was some 2 or 3 years ago. Went there for over a year I think. I "tabled" Dave, the cutey waiter. He is such a passionate kisser and would let you touch any part and he will kiss you so intensely that you'd want to come back for mroe the next weekend. There are cute MDs, si Tryke and vincent. I also asked Dave to dance sometimes which he would gladly do. Dave has a daughter and supporting his mom. He is a very kind person. You should all try to see him.

    1. Oh, i also "had" a different Dave in the same bar. Same thing. But he wasnt a waiter. No contact w him now. Cute pa naman.

  8. @GBG

    So you also a costumer of Dreamboyz? I been to that bar 2x and tabled md for 1 drink lang. I got my guts of visiting GB because of your blog. Sadly, I don't enough cash to visit often, can't afford to waste thousand for GB visit.
    What happened to your blog, its been a while the last update. Hopefully you will do it soon. I check daily your blog fyi.


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