Friday, October 28, 2011

Signs of a Newbie Macho Dancer

(Or the opposite: Signs that a Macho Dancer is NOT New in the Industry)

A question that's asked to a tabled macho dancer: How long have you been working as a macho dancer?

I don't know why, but for some reason, macho dancers want to give that aura to their customers that they're new in the business. Either they claim that this was their first time in this job. Or that particular bar was the first bar they entered in. Or that they say they're new in that particular bar, like 2-4 months or always less than a year (but don't mention that they've worked in other bars before). 

Lolobelles, retire na po.
Would customers not like them if they knew that the guy has been a macho dancer since he was in his teen years? Is there a "turned off" factor when we customers find out that they're not new in the industry anymore?

I don't think so. But maybe it's because there's a perception that older gay guys like fresh young meat, and not over-the-hill dancers in their late 20s. Or that virgin gay bar goers, girls and gays alike, would prefer tabling someone also new in the industry, for fear of being manipulated in their chosen guy's hands. 

Perhaps there are those who mind and those who don't. Matter of preference. 

To spot a macho dancer who has been in the business for quite some time (years of experience plus number of bars he has worked in previously) can be easy for a regular gay bar goer. The frequent customer can determine if the newly employed dancer in his favorite bar has had macho dancing experience before, just by the way the guy acts. That customer can also spot a very fresh newbie macho dancer, especially once that dancer steps on the stage to perform.

Here are the signs that a macho dancer is new in the industry or is just claiming that he's new (ie. working in the industry for a long time now) -- or the bagong-bago vs the bagong-lipat:

Let's start with looks:
  • Body-wise, a not-so-new macho dancer will be at two extremes: either he is toned and muscled, or a bit flabby with a gut. These macho dancers usually start out as junjunin types (see former blog post), who are too skinny or still carry some cute and cuddly baby fat. Then after working for some time, they realize how they can raise their chances of being tabled by working out. So they enter their "best body" phase -- lean, toned, or developing muscles. But because of their lifestyle of drinking beer night after night and lack of sleep, their muscles can also begin to be covered in fat, particularly in the belly area. 
Gerald Anderson evolution (For Illustration Purposes Only)
How I wish to see a macho dancer who looks like Gerald.
Oh wait, I have already.
  • Haircut: a newbie has that typical barber's cut. Not-so-new ones have experimented with fancier hairstyles as influenced by their colleagues, such as colored hair, highlights, long hair cuts, layered trims. 
  • Make-up: a newbie, especially weeks old, don't wear anything on their faces. Just their natural facial oil. Those extremely vain experienced ones have a complete set of foundation, eyeliner, and some form of colorete on their lips. Newbies have natural brown faces on stage. Experienced ones look white.
  • Face: The ugliness of a macho dancer can't determine if he's new or not. Wala na silang magagawa dun. Unless they go on facial surgery. Retakado ones, especially those with obviously altered features (ie too perfect nose bridges or too prominent chins), have been in the business long enough to earn money and find surgeons from connections or word-of-mouth.

On stage, when dancing:
  • The newbie dancer can not macho dance. This is what a newbie looks like on stage: he just stands at one area almost the entire song, then touches his chest over and over again: right hand to left chest left hand to right chest. And stiff is the best description of his dance, not his manhood.  
  • The not-so-new dancer has a well thought out dance that looks choreographed. He does not hesitate to move to the left, to the right, kneel down, bend backwards, go in circles on the floor,  show his pubes, and does all those in one smooth flowing routine. If a macho dancer tells you that he's just 2 months into the job but you saw him dance this way, raise your eyebrows already: "huwag ka na magkunwari, halatang halata ka naman."  
  • Facial expression: The newbie's face looks blank. Emotionless. Even a bit sheepish. The not-so-new dancer has a range of expressions: seductive, romantic, maangas, pained, all-smiles, stoned high. But then again, even long-time macho dancers can still look bored and dead and tinatamad while dancing on stage.
  • It's all about confidence. The newbie would try to hide their trembling as they dance on stage. The not-so-new ones, halatang sanay na sanay na (obvious that they're so used to it).

Then, when the macho dancer gets tabled:
  • The newbie dancer, especially on his first weeks, would just be sooo shy and sooo quiet. They wouldn't know what to say and how to act beside the customer. Except for the naturally chatty ones, which is rare for newbies. 
  • The not-so-newbie dancers are aggressive in their approach. They even get a bit too forward. His arms are already over your shoulders on the first 30 minutes? His hands already on your lap, especially if he has finished his MD drink? Some newbies actually try to mimic the veterans based on what they see, with the pseudo-romantic approach of frequent touching and making bola. 
  • But the really good veteran dancers do their approach subtly and smoothly. With them, you won't even notice that after some time, you'd be leaning against their bodies already. 
  • As for drinks, it gets somehow complicated. The newbie dancer drinks too slow, maybe just one during the entire duration (and then he'd get scolded by the management after). The newbie dancer who was instructed on his daily quota will then drink too fast, around 4 drinks in just the first hour. But the not-so-newbie dancer knows how to pace his drinks. He doesn't drink too fast nor too slow. The best ones has calculated an idea how much your budget will be (based on his first impressions on you) and then pace himself accordingly. The desperate ones for money just drink as much as they'd want.

This post was inspired by my experience over the weekend. It was my first time tabling this guy who I haven't seen before in that bar. Early in our conversation, he claimed to have been working for around a  a year, but seldom goes to work. I even tried to ask probe deeper, in case he would retract his statement about his age and being there for a year. But he insisted. That fact was fine with me. I really didn't care. 

Until I checked him out on youtube. He previously mentioned he had a video of his dance for their bar's competition posted somewhere. When I got curious upon getting home, I searched for the video, found it, got amused at first, and then I saw the date when it was posted. Langya, April 2009. That means at least two and a half years ago. Emphasis on "at least". Yet another lie from an MD.

I don't know why he needs to cover up about his tenure. Would it lessen his appeal if I find out from the beginning that he's been working as a macho dancer for ages already? Would I get turned off at him if he's not as fresh as people want despite his claimed age of 22? Not really. But finding out that he lied made more damage to his appeal than his actual years of working as a macho dancer.  

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
twitter: @gbgoer

Photo credits:


  1. anung link sa you tube??? hehehe!! di ko matiis na babalik ako ng probinsya ng luhaan, kaya laumabas an lola kagabi matapos ang disappointing night sa solution. nagpunta akosa dreamboys..sulit..umuulan ng nota!!! wag na magklamo sa looks ,meron naman ,,karamihan 'er' looks..di costru ah.. sles clERrk hehehe.. enjoy,sulit...

  2. @kamote seeecccrreeeetttt.... =) who did u get sa dreamboys?


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