Weak Nights

Last night, my friend Mary was inviting me to come with her to “Home Base”, the gay bar. She intended to go to the bar, and was hoping that I’d join her.  The bar would’ve  gladly been graced by my presence, but I, the GB Goer, had to decline as I had early commitments the next day.

My commitments? Work. She invited me on a Wednesday night.

Just like any night out with friends, gay bar going is often a weekend activity. When friends ask themselves when they’d finally do their macho dancer watching adventure, they’d choose either Friday or Saturday. Or Friday AND Saturday, especially for boy-addicts like us friends. And in those freewheeling nights, the gay bars are expected to be packed.

But who goes on a weekday night?

“Us,” Mary would instantly answer, given the question. True enough, it wouldn’t be my first weekday gay bar adventure if I decided to join her last night. Since I declined the tempting offer, I just asked her to give updates on the events in the bar.

What “events”? Apparently, it happened to be an uneventful night in the bar, typical of weekday nights.

Like last night, as only about three or four tables were occupied, according to Mary. A group of lady office workers looking for an after-work night out. A lonely gay guy, on his 3^rd bottle of beer, who didn’t have access to porn. Two mature burly men who look more like undercover policemen or barangay tanod on their day-off. A trio of Caucasian male tourists who were looking for some gay action in Manila.  

Even if there were customers, they’d be mere observers of dancing men. Either they arrive way too early before midnight and just stay for an hour, or they’d come in and stay longer, but without “tabling” a dancer. These customers, termed by the bar as coming from a “Tanawan, Batangas (provincial town translated as ‘viewer’)”, might not want to spend the night with boys, as they might have next-day commitments (just like me), on a tight budget, or simply not interested.

On these slow nights, the macho dancers know that money won’t be flowing in. Out of the thirty or so employed boys, only about five would be lucky enough to be “tabled” on weekday nights. The others would just wait in the dressing room, watch TV, chat, text their lovers or customers, or sleep even if prohibited.

Thus, those who are “bangkay” (corpse / zombie) on consecutive nights would often feel too lazy to come to work. “Wala namang kita, bakit pa ako papasok? (There’s no income, so why come to work?)” would often be the real excuse of not showing up for work on our, the customer’s, work night.  

And to unwind is what we, gay bar patrons going on weekday nights, seek. Wouldn’t it be nice to grab two bottles of beer with a hunky man comforting you (or at least pretending to) after a stressful day?

Besides, there’s less competition on weekday nights. The more popular macho dancers are often “tabled” early by newcomers or their regular guests on packed weekends. So if one fancies a particular boy who was unavailable the first time he or she went to the bar, then maybe a weekday visit might open an opportunity for him or her to solo the boy for an entire night.  

Just how Mary felt last night – sitting relaxed beside her chosen partner, “Cap”, without the preying eyes of GB Goer and our friend Ringo. She could’ve even gotten our often-tabled “Beatty” behind our backs, whom she has been eyeing since we first saw his now-famous pole-dancing routine.

So now, as I am writing this post, I’m getting envious that she experienced being alone with her beloved last night. A simple invitation to go to the nearest gay bar bar can make any MD-addict weak, even on a weekday night. It’s already 9:30 PM on a Thursday night, and I am waiting for her call. But it’s still workday Friday tomorrow, I might debate. Yeah, as if it has never stopped me from going before.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com

Bikini Blues

Panahon na ng summer o tag-init sa Pilipinas. At siyempre, sa industriya ng gay bar, sa panahong ito naglilipana ang samu't saring bikini open na ginaganap sa mga "big night" event ng bar. Sa isip-isip ng mga may-ari ng gay bar,  papatok sigurado ito sa mga matrona at baklang tigang, makakita lang ng mga lalaking naka-jubad. Kaya't pampa-attract ng customer, taun-taon nila ito ginagawa.

Kung gaanong ikinatutuwa ng mga customer ang event na ito, ganoon naman ikinasasakit ng ulo ng mga ilang nagtatrabaho sa gay bar ang mga event na ito. Sa pakikipag-usap ko sa ilang mga macho dancers, ito ang mga natutunan ko kung bakit nila kinaiinisan ang mga big night tulad ng bikini open:

• Rehearsal na naman?: "E kaka-big night lang noong nakaraang linggo?" Ito ang madalas nilang reklamo. Syempre, sa isang event, kailangang mag-ensayo ang mga lalaki sa kanilang mga bagong summer-themed choreography o pag-rampa o blocking sa stage. Ibig sabihin nito, papasok muli sila nang mas maaga, dalawang oras bago ang opening ng bar. Hindi lang isang araw, kundi buong lingo bago ang event. Mababawasan sila ng oras ng tulog at "mapupuyat." Minsan, kung late, may kaltas pa sa daily budget at pagagalitan.   
• Hindi isasali ang mga hindi maganda ang katawan: Kung may tiyan, tanggal. Kung patpat, tanggal. Hindi lahat ng macho dancer sa bar kasali; mga 15 lang mula sa 30. Malas naman ng mga tanggal, ang unang iisipin. Actually, iniisip ng mga hindi kasali na swerte pa nga sila. At least, walang pressure sa rehearsal at sa paghatak ng customer. Makatutulog pa sila nang mas matagal. Pampalaki rin ng tiyan yun. 
• May bikini ka na, may kaltas ka pa: Madalas, ang bar ang magbibigay ng bikining isusuot ng mga macho dancers na kasali sa competition. Iisipin ng mga kalahok, uy salamat sa bago kong bikini na hindi ko naman maisusuot sa beach. Kala nila thank you lang yun? Hindi, ikakaltas ng bar sa budget na nga nilang maliit ang presyo ng bikini. Hindi ko lang alam kung gawain yan sa mga iba ring bar.
• Bagsakan ng drinks ang labanan: Syempre dahil bikini open, pagandahan ng katawan ang labanan, diba? May mga judges naman na mag-determine kung sino mananalo, diba? Mali. Kahit may judges, mga 25%-50% lang ang boto nila. Pera-pera ang labanan, at idadaan ito sa bagsakan ng drinks mula sa guest. Kung sinong contestant ang may pinakamalaking naipasok na benta ng drinks, siya ang mananalo.    
• Saan naman ako hahatak ng customer: Dahil event ito at bagsakan ng drinks ang labanan, kailangang magyaya ang macho dancer ng kani-kaniyang customer. Kaso, nahihiyang mag-imbita ng guest ang karamihan ng macho dancer, at kailangan pa nilang kapalan ang mukha para mag-aya. Baka raw isipin ng guest na piniperahan lang sila para manalo sa competition. Saan naman lulugar ang naiipit na macho dancer sa sitwasyong ito?

Matapos naman ang bikini open na event, naisip niyo ba kung saan napupunta ang mga bikini? Syempre, sa mga macho dancers na yun. Maaari naman nilang gamitin yun sa kanilang pagsasayaw. At least, may ipampapalit na siya sa bawat gabi. 

Eh paano kung madalas may competition na kailangang mag-bikini na ibibigay ng gay bar? Siguradong magtatambakan lang ng samu't saring saluwal ang aparador ng macho dancer sa kanilang bahay. May blue. May pink. May zebra stripes. May glittery. May t-back. May print ng "Kiss Me" sa harap. Sa sobrang dami na ng makukulay at magagarang underwear ng mga MD, ibinibigay na lang nila ang mga iba sa mga kaibigan o sa mga baguhan. Yung mga baguhan na lang mamroblema kung saan itatago ang mga bikining nakakahiyan namang isuot sa labas.  

Syempre, kailangang itago ang mga iyon, lalo na sa mga bahay ng mga macho dancer na hindi alam ang kanilang tunay na trabaho. Nang itanong ko kung sino ang naglalaba ng mga underwear, sinabi ng isa na siya mismo ang naglalaba para walang makakita. Yung isa naman, nahihiya pa niyang sagot, "Yung nanay ko kasi siya naglalaba ng lahat ng damit ko." Nabuking kaya siya? "Hindi na lang tinanong ng nanay ko kung saan nanggaling yun," dagdag niya. "Eh paano ba naman, kung wala ka ring panahong maglaba ng damit, makikita rin yun na nakatambak kasama ang mga nagamit ko nang damit?"

Siguradong maglilipana na ulit ngayong tag-init ang mga iba't ibang klaseng bikini. Kahit hindi na ito usong isuot ng mga lalaking nagpupunta sa beach, mapipilit pa rin mauso ito ng mga gay bar dahil sa mga big night event nila. Kung ito ang siyang nagpapaligaya sa mga nag-iinit na customer, ito rin naman ang siyang nagpapa-init ng ulo ng mga macho dancer.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com

---

Photocredit: "Blue Bikini" by Jeff Boss (http://fineartamerica.com/featured/blue-bikini-jeff-boss.html)

Tabling the Top

First it was Beatty. Then, Phoenix. Derek was supposed to be in the same list, but left the bar. I then found out Russell was the same, a long time ago. Last week it was Japoy. This particular list of men surprised me.

I used to shy away from the top macho dancers of a gay bar.

When I was new in the gay bar scene of Manila, as I would choose which among the available macho dancers I'd request to sit with me that night, I'd select from only the bar's new models. Not the popular ones. Not with regular guests. Not one in the top 10 of monthly drink sales. Not the Mr. Gay Bar competition reigning title holder.

So my usual lines to the gay floor managers who would push me to "table" a guy were "Wait, which are the new ones?" or "I like that guy. Is he new?" or "I'll just wait for the modeling (or 'all-cast') when all of them are on-stage and get from the fresh-looking boys." If I find out if the guy I fancy is one of the bar's star macho dancers, I'd just scan the bar for someone else to sit with me.

So among the guys in the macho bar, how would I identify these top dancers? Continue after the jump:

Professional Conversationalists

The realization came when "Phoenix" had a laugh as he found out who I was going to "table" in the gay bar a few weeks ago. After about two hours of being undecided who to select from the twenty available macho dancers that night, I got one of the more handsome-looking newbies. I've gotten to know almost half the dancers in the bar, so that night I wanted to experience someone else. Like trying out a new dish in a favorite restaurant. But when Phoenix, who was "tabled" with my friend Ringo that night, saw which of the fresh meat dishes I ordered, he wondered what was going on in my mind.

"Ano yan, interview-hin mo lang yan e! (What's that, you're just going to interview him!)" remarked Phoenix.

True enough, that was one of my intentions. For me, the macho dancing gay bar is a place where I can get to select a young, good-looking boy to spend the evening with. Sort of a date, but with my choice of man. without him refusing the invitation. And of course, over expensive beer in a dimly-lit place.

The Signature Macho Dance Moves

The routine: A macho dancer enters from the back stage as the DJ introduces him. The dancer, in his sando or just in his tight boxer briefs, goes center-stage.

His first move is a typical one -- his thumbs are first tucked into his underwear. As his body sways slowly from left to right, his clenched left hand moves to cover his right shoulder. Then he brings down his left hand, his body sways to the other way, and his right hand moves to the left shoulder.

With both hands, he reaches for the top of his head, running his fingers through his hair. He lunges his chest forward then pulls back, making a seductive S-like wavy movement.

Then, wherever he goes next -- to the left, to the right, down to the ground, turn around -- is part of the over-all usual routine, which for a regular gay bar customer, can get a bit predictable.  

To break off from this routine, some experienced macho dancers infuse some unique steps in their dance. These "signature dance moves" are the dancers' own interpretation of acting sexy, or seducing potential customers, or mimicking bed-time action. Because of their uniqueness, these steps are branded as the dancer's, in the hopes of making them rise above the other regular dancers, and be memorable to the customer.

Here are some of the dance moves associated to certain macho dancers in the gay bars I go to. As I can't take pictures inside these gay bars, I've searched the internet for the closest interpretation. Almost all pics here are nude to semi-nude, so please take note that most men do these moves while wearing their underwear or short shorts, and NOT in the nude.

Continue after the jump:

Note: Some photos are NSFW (not safe for work).

The Tale of The Crazy Matron Patrons

Once upon a time, in a far away land called Manila, there lived a young gay princess who, on weekend nights, went around the taverns of Manila's various towns. These little taverns, called "gay bars" by the locals, housed all types of men that catered to the fantasies of other gay queens. In those taverns, there were macho princes in underwears, knights in shining boots, and young emperors who always wore their new clothes.

The young gay princess traveled from gay bar to gay bar, with his two fairy godmothers, Mary and Ringo, in search of their one true loves. In each visit, they were greeted warmly by the townspeople, both by the transvestite performers and the handsome valor men, who often shared stories about their adventures as knights and princes.

One such tale that was frequently recounted were the mad visitors from far away lands who became regular patrons of the taverns. These mad visitors were not the gay men which the taverns try to attract, or the low-key women in their late 40s above, also known as the "matrona", looking for some companionship. These unique visitors were yes, matronas, but who were actually mad witches in regal queen's clothing. The townspeople referred to them as "crazy matronas."



The crazy matrona in the fairy tale gay bar

Read more about these crazy matron patrons, after the jump:

Macho-Go-Round in Manila

Musical Chairs with Macho Dancers, anyone?

 A year after going around the macho dancer gay bars of Manila, my friend Ringo and I couldn’t decide where to spend our night last Saturday. There was no question that we’d go to a gay bar; the question then was which.

We drove through Manila’s dark streets, as we crossed out each gay bar that we passed by – “Kingdom Come” lacked interesting boys, “Answers for the Emotionally Needy” (ATEN) didn’t have parking, Quezon City was too far, “Mexican Knife” too slasher-suspense-movie scary. We contemplated on going back to “Home Base,” but after four visits in the previous seven days, we wanted to explore other men in other gay bars.

Then we found out the new “Lord II” opened that night.

The story and realizations, after the jump:

Area

When talking about gay bars of Manila, most of the written articles and chit-chats revolve around macho dancers, particularly about their poverty-stricken origins, their unique form of dance, and heck, even their dick sizes. Ask any gay bar goer, typically a gay guy or matrona or Koreana, for why they went to a gay bar in the first place, and you get various reasons like “to satisfy my curiosity”, “to see a live dick”, “to have someone to talk to”, “to fall in love.” Of course, macho dancers become top of mind when the topic is about gay bars.

However, little is mentioned about those others performing in the gay bar, those with the same night-shift work schedules, who share the same stage and entertain the same audience, as the macho dancers.

“Sino yang mga yan? (Who are they?)” might be asked by puzzled first time gay bar goers, who went to that bar to see some naked muscular men. After sets of erect dicks on stage, these customers would be seeing fully-clothed effeminates doing drag or fully-clothed boys doing hiphop.

They’re employed by the bar, along with the macho men, and they're there to entertain. As "commercial breaks", they give sort of a breather to the continuous flow of half-naked men dancing routinely under the spotlight.



Those who go "area": (1) All-the-way men who don't get tabled often,
(2) Drag queen impersonators, (3) Hiphop dance groups



On-stage, the tranny impersonators might do a burlesque show or lip-synching divas concert. The hiphop group dancers might do a medley of latest radio hits. And right after a one-song performance onstage, they would go down the stage with the second song as their cue. This is the so-called bar term "area" (or “ehr-ya”, as how the gay bar employees pronounce it).

It's a term commonly used in gay bars: "Ayan, mag-a-area na ang mga impersonator (The impersonators will now go on 'area')" or "Ang lakas nila humingi ng pera kapag nag-area (Those dancers ask for too much money when they 'area')".

When they "area" (yes, a noun used as a verb), each of the group’s members would be assigned “areas” inside the gay bar with a little bag or cap in their hands. They approach a customer's group, like yours for instance, either with a smile or a little plea, and hope that you give them some tip or change. The drag queens might seduce with a brief dance in front of you. A member of the dance crew might use their boyish charms. And after your generous action (or inaction), they move on to the next table and to the next, until they’ve gone through all the customers before their song would end.

Collecting tips from customers via doing “area” is a way for these in the periphery to augment their daily income, which they split evenly among themselves. Sure, the bar pays these impersonators and group dancers for their performances, but the top of the pay roll would always be the macho dancers. But unlike the macho dancers, they don't collect commission from the drinks from the customers, nor get the much higher tips. Heck, they don't even get extravagant gifts from crazy-in-love guests outside the bar. What do these impersonators or group dancers, and to some extent, the not-so-handsome all-the-way tigas boys get from the customers? Much smaller than the MDs, if not, none.

For them, the tips they collect reflect the generosity of the customers. They know how the gay bar’s patrons are always loaded, just by how the MD drinks are priced. “Nagtatapon naman sila ng pera, bakit hindi rin makakuha? (They’re throwing away money, so why not get some of those)” as remarked by one. They also seem drawn to foreigners, as much larger tips are given by caucasian foreigners who seem to be easily entertained. For some customers, these acts of begging may seem like little ways of extorting money from them. Of course, there are the choosy customers who’d select who to give and how much, if ever they’d decide to be generous. A simple "no" or slight wave of the customer's hands automatically signals these dancers to leave.

The tips also give an indication of the bar’s financial situation. No customers for weeks, no tips.

“Nagkaroon ng time, halos walang customer na nagpupunta. Yung P100 na tip nung isa, pinaghahatian pa namin. Mas maliit pa yung tip kaysa sa biyahe. (There was a time, the bar was empty without any customers. We had to share the P100 given to us. What we got was smaller than the fare going to the bar),” as the tranny impersonator shared. This was at the height of the rainy season, when people would rather stay home than go out, and at the same months before the holiday season, when people would save their money for the following months’ spending. This was also the time when our group found another gay bar, with other men to spend our money at.

In a place where money seemed to be flowing freely night after night, there are those who don't benefit that much -- the drag queen impersonators, the dance groups, the all-the-way boys. The maximum P100 tips each group gets per customer (which they still split among them) are way smaller than the minimum P500 each macho dancer gets from their guests. Sex does sell, it seems.

Sure, they entertain the audiences, just as the macho men do. But it's a fact they accept that they are not the main reasons why patrons go to these macho dancing gay bars. Their performances are simply "commercial breaks" to the repetitive, routine live acts, and similarly, do we pay attention to the breaks on TV?

Why not? They may be more entertaining than the main show.

Photocredits:

http://www.superstock.com/stock-photos-images/1569R-100011

http://playshop.playevent.no/dcv/manila%20luzon%20drag%20queen%20real%20name.html

http://www.our-random-lives.blogspot.com/

---

GB Goer

Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila

http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/

email: char.affairs@gmail.com

---

Signs of a Virgin Gay Bar Goer

The macho dancing gay bar scene is full of various customers. There are the mature gays who are either pot-bellied beer-drinking discreet-looking ones or the effeminate next-to-parloristas out their for their next boylet. There are the matronas, or mature women in their mid-40s above, more popularly known now as "cougars", who want to divert their attention (and money) to their hottest young thing. There are also hostesses and GROs working from the girlie bars in the vicinity, looking for a relaxing good time.

And all of them started out as a newbie gay bar goer.

The newbie gay bar goers nowadays look the same -- groups of women or gays in their 20s to 30s. As a regular patron of gay bars, with the help of the tranny performers and other macho dancers, I now find it easy to spot these neophytes inside the bar. They have no experience in any macho dancing gay bar in any city. That's why they all act similarly, whatever gender or age range they may be.

So to spot these virgin gay bar goers inside a gay bar, here are the top ten signs (and see if they hold true for you):

How It All Started: Part 2

I was still a gay bar virgin in the afternoon of March 6, 2010.

And as with any first time experience, all I could feel was a mix of fear, excitement, nervousness, and anticipation. Layer upon layer of emotion kept building up, as time progressed from the afternoon until the evening.

The drive to the bar was somewhat nerve-wracking – I didn’t know what I’d see (or if someone I knew might see me there), if I’d get a boy and how he might look, and what could be done inside.

But Mary assured me: “Kahit walang pansinan o paki-alamanan. Wala ring lalabas kung ano mangyayari sa loob. (We won’t mind what each of us would do. Whatever would happen inside the bar would stay there).”

Arriving at “Home Base” around 10PM, we parked right in front of the bar, and it took some time before we left our cars. Checking out the mirror if the hair was all neat. Fixing up the creases on the clothes. Last minute spray of perfume. We all had superficial reasons not to leave our cars yet, but I guess all of us just didn’t want to enter the gay bar’s doors alone.

Then, someone said, “Okay. Let’s go.”

What happened next, after the jump:

How It All Started: Part 1

It was a few days before March 6, 2010.

My friend, "Mary", a single mother in her late 30s who was my officemate, called me up in the morning of March 1 on our way to work. We had our regular morning chats -- work-related quick discussions and office gossip. In the middle of our talk, she had a pause.

"May gusto akong itanong, pero atin-atin lang (I want to ask something, but it's between us two)," she said.

"Sure," I replied, curious as to what it was.

Squimishly, she asked, "Gusto mo magpuntang gay bar? (Do you want to go to a gay bar?)"

"Huh? Bakit? (Why?)" I gasped.

"Wala lang. Nagpunta kasi ako, kasama yung friend ko, last weekend. (Oh nothing. I went to one with my friend last weekend)."

"Ha?" was my only reply. I was still quite speechless, but a laughter mixed with fear, excitement, and curiosity went through.

Mary then proceeded to share how she and her high school friend, "Ringo", a 40 year old never-been-touched, never-been-kissed gay guy, were roaming the streets of Malate, Manila the previous Friday night to look for that area's infamous gay scene. Since they weren't familiar with that intersection of Nakpil St. and Maria Orosa St,  having driven almost an hour looking for any signs of gayness, they both thought of going to a macho dancing gay bar instead, their first time if ever. So Mary called up her sister and asked for a recommendation. Her sister, who had been to one gay bar with her friends a few years back, suggested "Home Base." And off Mary and Ringo went to that gay bar at 11 in the evening.

"Pero pwedeng magpunta lang tayo, at hindi mo naman kailangan mag-table. (We can just go there, and you're not required to get a guy)," she told me.

"Oh my gosh, nag-table kayo? Pero Sige. (OMG, you got a guy? But sure)," I answered with some hesitation, though my voice couldn't conceal my excitement.

Before this, I've only seen a "macho dancer" on TV during my adolescence, when teenage curiosity made me rent an R-rated macho dancing movie of the 90s. In college, my gay high school friends and I have been endlessly daring each other and joking about entering a gay bar in the Quezon City area. That happened for many years, when we used to frequent the Timog-Morato areas, and drive by one gay bar after another in that stretch. Some of them already closed down, while a few opened over the years, but never did we attempt to go inside one.

Behind those half-hearted invitations, underneath those nervous jokes, I know all of us, deep inside, really wanted to experience the gay bar and discover the mystery surrounding naked macho dancers. But no one was brave enough to push through.

"So when?" I asked with a fearful but naughty smile.

"This Saturday... evening. If you're free."

"May bridal shower si (name of officemate) diba? Paano yan? (But there's the bridal shower of our officemate. So how?)"

"Madali lang yan. Pwede natin pag-usapan paano magkikita. (That's easy. We can discuss how to meet)."

"Hahaha! Sige! Sige! (Sure! Sure!)" 

"Pero quiet lang, atin-atin lang ito. (It's just a secret between us)," she assured me, while asking for my assurance as well.

We met up in the office less than an hour after. We had knowing smiles, but proceeded without any indication that a mischievous plan was brewing between us.

I flew to Thailand the following day. That week passed, with a few text messages of "Saturday ha!" exchanged between us. The thought of finally going inside Manila's gay bars never left my mind that week. Even on one night when a colleague of mine and I went to Patpong for the first time, and as we were being lured by its shows and seedy bars, I still had my mind set for Manila. I flew back home on Friday night, March 5.

Then in the afternoon of March 6, 2010, Mary and I called each other again.

(To be continued... Part 2)

---

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com

The Conyo Macho Dancer

"Phoenix"*, top macho dancer in a gay bar in Metro Manila, couldn't fully hide where he came from.

In a setting where most of the performers come from the underprivileged who worked for "easy money", Phoenix seemed to stand out amongst his macho dancer companions. On the surface, he did not look or sound like the others. In this country where his above-average height, lean and toned build, fair skin color and a good command of English could reveal his mid-to-upper class upbringing, he could be described as a "conyo" (not the literal Spanish meaning of that word, but meaning "English-speaking maarte rich kid", colloquially). When he danced on-stage, he seemed not to be doing the routine typical macho-dancing, but like a very-choreographed form of sultry interpretative dance infused with slow hiphop dancing. From his stories about his pre-gay bar days, one would think that he might have a background rich of experiences.

"Bro, tingnan mo ito (look at this)", Phoenix said to me. I tabled him last weekend, the last among my group of friends to get him in the gay bar over the past months.

What he was showing me was a graphic of some gaming paraphernalia, freshly inked to a patch of his skin. That tattoo was his first, done at a very sensitive part of his body filled with nerve endings (the hands!). For him, it was a reminder of his "risky business" past. 

Before, "Phoenix" seemed to have small brushes with success out of the gay bar. While he had previous stints in the gay bar years back, there was a time that he dabbled in the entertainment industry. He was part of an in-demand group, who guests in tv shows and concerts. He has appeared in commercial ads already, not as the main lead, but as part of the extras. He even had bit roles on and off-cam in a big-budget movie, as part of the crowd and as choreographer of some dance sequences. From these "rackets", he had some earnings, enough for him to start his own business.

Then came his fall middle of last year. Phoenix seemed to have lost everything on a "risk" he took. He was lost, with no one to turn to. In desperation, he returned to the gay bar, the same one where my friends and I saw him months back as a thin disheveled 25 year-old. He was looking for a hiding place, a shelter, to rest, re-start, and be reborn.  

When I was talking to a healthier and recharged Phoenix that night, I noticed our conversation revolved around topics I could relate to. We had a conversation about colognes and perfumes, where he mentioned brand after brand of men's perfumes he owned, a few of which I haven't even heard of (He also had more than ten bottles of Clinique Happy, his favorite as well). He shared how he was eyeing an LV shoulder bag, but because of the price, bought a Lacoste one instead. He talked about cars (the time when I started to tune out), and how he was planning to sell his after he has finished setting-up the car with various race car-related paraphernalia or whatever. He also started talking business with me, how he plans to re-start with his own by saving up from his earnings in this bar. It seemed I was having a conversation with a classmate, or some kabarkada of a school mate.

And apparently he was. To our shock, we found out that we had a few common friends. One of those was someone from the lower batch who became popular because of the same commercial that Phoenix appeared in. Even Mary and Ringo, my two other gay-bar going buddies, knew friends whom he knew as well.

It seemed Phoenix was from our circle, someone who we may have met somewhere outside the gay bar.

"Hindi alam ng marami na dito ako nagtatrabaho. Iba ang buhay ko dito, sa buhay ko sa labas. (Lots of people don't know I work here. I have a different life in and out of the gay bar)." he admitted. The reason that he worked so far from where he lived was to ensure that no one in his circle could see him working in such a place. He may just be working in this bar for the meantime, as a quicker way to support his family and save up possibly, before venturing out into the world again.

I admire him for trying to rise again after his fall.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com

*Note: This is not his real name nor his stage name. Though, his stage name is somehow related to this.

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Photocredit: http://pelotonjim.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/like-the-phoenix-operation-puerto-rises-from-the-ashes/

Goodbye, Valentino Gay Bar

Dear Mr. Valentine,

Why?

I only got to meet you once after years of knowing about you. Though I wasn't fully happy with our first meeting, my mind was not closed on returning. Now, you've already closed down.

And I was shocked to see this when I visited your place yesterday:


What the site of the former Mr. Valentine / Valentino Gay Bar in Manila has now become

I thought you'll just close shop and leave the building structure. But your whole building was not only demolished, you've even destroyed the Mini-Stop Convenience Store beside you. And you left the motorcycles still parked there. Are those the macho dancers'?

Did you close down because of poor business? The bars nearest to you in the Pasay-Paranaque areas also had very poor sales during the July-Sept season. But to really cease operations and get demolished, while the others still remain?


Or was it because of the demolition job against you? "Full of male prostitutes who spread veneral diseases and possibly HIV among their gay and older women customers" was what one tabloid writer claimed in his article a few years back. The news bit had a very negative slant, as if someone paid them to write about this. From the article, the bar's customers apparently have filed complaints against the city government, which prompted the city mayor to "investigate the operations of Mr. Valentine and eventually shut it down." 

Or maybe of poor handling of the business? Not paying its share of amusement tax, as the tabloid article mentioned? Not giving enough under-the-table deals with the local government?    

Or the government just wanting to "clean" the city up? Your "Dirty Harry" mayor seems bent on acting on his vow of eliminating all bars or massage parlors which are prostitution fronts, as seen on news articles about other popular girlie bars closing down. Even Baywalk has been cleaned of the side restaurants that used to line that long stretch, which they say is also littered with call girls and hustlers. And it seems that you were also an easy target, being the lone, most popular gay bar in the area.

Too bad. I really thought you were one of the top bars in Metro Manila, almost always filled with the richest clientele in the gay bar industry. Even a local movie had a scene shoot inside your premises half a decade ago. It can even be found on youtube.

I am not sure if we'll meet each other again soon, via a re-launch or re-birth. But for sure, I'll meet your previous employees, both gay floor managers and male model macho dancers, in some gay bar somewhere in Manila. I've met a few of them already.

Adieu!

[UPDATE as of April 2011]
According to the grapevine: There was an apparent problem with the land where the bar once stood. If I remember the story, the owner of the bar wanted to buy the land, but the land owners didn't want to sell. Instead, the land owners even wanted the long-standing bar removed so they can build their own bar. They may have realized how lucrative the gay bar business is.

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com; Follow at twitter: @gbgoer

The Rumored, The Curious, and The Doubted

Yes, there may be a misnomer of the term “gay bar” in the Philippines. Lots have been written in the web how Manila’s “gay bars” don’t actually employ dancers who are homosexual, effeminate or “bakla”. What one finds inside gay bars are straight uber-macho-looking stripper-dancers, to cater to the mostly-gay clientele, hence making the terms “macho dancers” and “macho dancing bars” interchangeable with “gay bar.”  

Well, Pinoys know these by heart, such that despite the dichotomy of the terms “gay” and “macho”, adding the word “bar” at the end of each will refer to the same thing.

But what if the gay bar has macho dancers who are gay and gay customers who are macho-looking? Last weekend, I got to experience this so-called “silahis”, may it be bisexuals or discreet gays.

Who are they? Read after the jump: