The Annual Mr. Gay Bar Title Competition

On a regular gay bar night, you always hear the gay bar DJ introduce some particular macho dancer onstage: "Up next is the 2010 Mr. Hot-Dream-God-Papa-Bird-King." And as you hear that single title, you turn your attention to whoever is coming next onstage. You ask yourself how this unique macho dancer might look like. As the song's first lines are played, your eyes are then expecting to see the most handsome, most muscular, and most talented macho dancer in that bar.  

Once you see the Mr. Gay Bar for 2011, you then ask yourself, how did HE win? 

It's already December, and to cap off the end of the year, most big gay bars would hold one of their biggest "Big Nights" (event) of the year. This event is the annual Search for the Mr. Gay Bar 20xx, a pageant held among the bar's existing macho dancers. This is supposedly the most prestigious title any macho dancer can hold, especially if the winner gets to carry the name of the bar for a year (as part of his resume for a future corporate job also?).  

"It's an honor", as the macho dancers say. "Makikilala ka talaga ng mga customer. Kahit sa mga first timer na customer, malalaman nilang ikaw ang pinaka sikat dahil may titulo ka."

So what happens behind these annual competitions? 

The bar promotes the event for a few weeks prior to the actual event, like late November or early December. You'll hear it announced by the DJ during intermissions. Sometimes you can even read the event on the newspapers... err... tabloids, with an article written by a gay entertainment writer. Of course, you can see the event banner posted on the bar's entrance, just like any other of the bar's "Big Night" events. 

On the actual night itself, depending on the entertainment format of the bar, the competition happens at the prime hours, around 12 midnight. Before that, what you will see onstage are the usual macho dancing from the non-contestants. Once the event starts, these guys then compete in various portions. Casual wear, swimwear, formal wear, and sometimes, talent portions (the focus is not macho dancing) and interview segments. Beauty pageant na beauty pageant talaga. What do you expect, bakla ang organizer.

In swim wear... or the excuse to see the half-naked bodies of these guys

Who can get to compete? Not all macho dancers employed in the bar. Only the top guys, as chosen by the management. And by top, I don't mean the best in dancing skills or the most fabulous manhood. Top just means highest in "macho drink" sales. And those among the top macho dancers either means that they are frequently tabled because of their sheer handsome-ness, or that they have regular customers/guests who are big time spenders.  

And that is where the secret of winning lies in.

Just like any other pageants, these competitions have their typical panel of judges. In some bars, they get to invite outside credible judges -- fashion designers, entertainment writers, movie directors or producers, etc. In some bars, they ask some customers to do the judging (with a "donation" to participate, of course). The bar prepares judging forms with various criteria, whatever the bar can think of and will always include audience impact. But what happens to these scores after the supposed "tabulation" during intermission numbers? They are just there, for FYI. That's right. Because what makes a macho dancer win isn't the judges score nor the audience applause, but the number of drinks the macho dancer can accumulate during the entire week prior to the event or on the actual competition night itself.

Rule is: most number of drinks gives the title to the macho dancer. Bagsakan ang usapan. And the macho dancer knows this. That's why competitive macho dancers sort of insist their big time spender regular customer to attend the event, as it can sort of assure a top spot in the competition. To win, I am not talking about just 15 drinks. We're talking hundreds! The highest I've heard is about 700 drinks (700 x P400 per beer = P280,000). Some customers even spend P400,000 in a succession of nights, just to make his/her enamored MD win. And the whole bar employees get into the act -- if your tabled macho dancer is a contestant, expect to hear again and again during the night "Yung customer po ni Nando, nagbagsak ng 70 drinks ulit. Nasa 250 na si Nando. Kayo po, magbabagsak para kay Lito? Nasa 130 pa lang siya." 

But the smart macho dancers, as I've heard, have their own style. They will tell their customers to make them reach up to a certain amount of drinks, like 150, then tell them to give him the remaining cash that the customer is still willing to spend. So those strategizing macho dancers, despite not winning the title, will get to pocket home like twenty or fifty or a hundred thousand pesos.

Besides, these contestants won't get to take home the commission from the hundreds of MD drink bottles bought for them by their customers during these big night events. The P80 to P100 per bottle that the MD takes home per bottle? Gone... to the pockets of the bar owners.

"Mas mabuti na yung perahin ko na lang," these guys will say, "kaysa sa mapunta sa may-ari ng bar lang yung pera. Kapag nanalo ka naman ng titulo, maliit lang naman ang cash prize e." Some will even rationalize that being a title holder will not result to food on the table. "Para saan pa ang titulong yan diba? E di perahin ko na lang."

What happens to the titleholders after winning the event? Nothing grand, really. Only having the title announced every time he goes up on stage to dance. But some of them, those who have really gotten huge sums from their big spender customers, stop working altogether. A few spend their years living in a condo, paid for by their lovestruck matronic or rich old gay clients. 

So when the reigning Mr. Gay Bar titleholder leaves and resigns from the bar, does that mean he is stripped off the title? Yes, in most bars, even if he decides to return months after. That means that for whatever reason the winner can not fulfill his duties (ie. binahay ng customer), then the 1st runner up automatically becomes the title holder. In some bars like Adonis, previous titleholders still get to keep their titles, but are not allowed to compete on the following year. That's why you can hear about four Mr. Adonis working in the gay bar at the same time.

When I discuss these competitions with some of the veteran macho dancers, those in their late 20s or early 30s, they say that these bagsakan of drinks as a major component in contests only happened in recent years.  "Hindi naman ganyan dati," one former gay bar titleholder told me. "Pinipili talaga ng bar ang pinaka deserving na manalo, yung sa itsura tapos pati na rin sa galing sa pagsayaw. Ngayon, iba na talaga. Meron talagang nakakalusot na hindi talaga deserving."

As you attend one big night competition these coming days of December, don't be surprised with the outcome of the competition. Even if you want your macho dancer to win the title, by giving him a perfect score of 100 as a judge, or additional 20 drinks (20 x P400 = P8000), sayang ang effort at pera mo, dear. 

So to those asking me, given my experience, who my prediction is as to who will win this year's title? For sure, not the most handsome, nor the most muscular, nor the best dancer, nor the one with the longest tool, would be 2011's Mr. Hot-Dream-God-Papa-Bird-King Gay Bar winner. 

GB Goer
Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com
twitter: @gbgoer

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Photo credits: http://dreamboyzbar2009.multiply.com/