All GB Goer Wants for Christmas

Dear Santa,

Hi. How are you? It's me, GB Goer. You don't know me? Maybe because I only started writing to you this year. Heck, my persona was only created just a few days before the end of 2010.

But check your lists again. I may be on your "nice" list. I wasn't that naughty the past year. Yes, I may have been going to the gay bars since last year, but both of us know I was well-behaved with the macho dancers. You can even ask the ____ number of men I've met just this year. Yes, ganun karami, and nope, I don't get affected nor offended when you say "Ho, ho, ho." Promise, those men will say something nice about me.

Because I was more good than bad this year, can I still ask for my Christmas wishes? Don't worry, my list is not that long, unlike some of my unedited, drawn-out, explanatory blog posts. Anyway, here goes. 

First of all, Santa, if you're thinking of giving me a gift, I think I am too old for toys already. Why not a boy toy, perhaps? Or even better, a serious non-macho dancer boyfriend. Someone whom I can take along for dates or dinners without needing to spend for their allowance. Someone whom I can bring home this Christmas to my family and introduce him as a macho dancer, errr, a corporate executive working for Solutions Bar & Disco, errr, Solutions Contact Center in Makati. Yet another night shifter? Going out with macho dancers the past years, I think I've already learned can work out our timings. So keri na yun.

Can he also not be too young nor too old? Around the age of 24-26 would be best. Based on my experience with macho dancers, they make good conversationalists, at that age. And yes, that's about the same age as Phoenix. My nice-on-the-outisde but naughty-on-the-inside friend Ringo said that among all the guys I've met over the years, it was Phoenix who was my best match. We could discuss anything and everything without walls or pretension. And Ringo could see that I was most comfortable and most myself with him. Plus, Phoenix restrains himself from ordering too much MD drinks when I table him. Two on the average up to three maximum, as he keeps saying "Hindi ka iba" (I'm not that different). Not bad, right? 

So why not just give me Phoenix? I'm not that choosy. Oh yeah, he has a long time partner. Fine.

But you know my type. Chinito. Someone who looks like Air, who is Hayden Kho-ish.

Speaking of which, I saw Air two weeks ago in the bar beside "Home Base", exactly after a year of not seeing the face of that s.o.b. Even though forgotten feelings resurfaced, it's a good thing I kept my calm. For sure, he saw me when I was walking out towards the bar's doors where he was chatting with his older companion "friend." Did I say hi? No. I just walked between the two of them. Glanced at him for a quick second. Glanced at his "friend" after. No smile from me. No acknowledgement from me. As if I never knew him. Ang ganda ko lang. 

Well, if you won't give me a non-macho dancer boyfriend, I'll ask for something reachable na lang.

Please give me a motorcycle, such as a Kawasaki, Suzuki, or any other brand from the land of the hostos and legitimate male entertainers. As long as it's brand new. So that when I'd fall deeply and blindly in love with a guy from these gay bars, I can tease him with the keys to a brand new "motor" for his daily "service." Once you give me that gift, you can finally make a wish of mine come true: tuck (make sabit) the keys on the guy's bikini strap while he's performing on stage. Just like any other matrona in the gay bar. Please make that happen.

Speaking of matronas and other gay bar patrons, I do hope they realize that the gay bar is just an "entertainment only" establishment. These bars may tease us with the prospect of having intimate relationships with the men of our choice, and being alone or lonely or incomplete makes us vulnerable to their slightest remarks of flattery. If we do decide to risk our hearts to someone in these bars, I do hope we can weed out those who are using us and those who are being true to us. It's so difficult and tiring to constantly giving out gift after gift after gift, just for our love to be reciprocated, Santa. We are not like you.

And with that, thank you for my non-attachment to a macho dancer boylet this time of year, for the 2nd year in a row. At least there are no grand Christmas gifts nor monetary aginaldos to worry about. My hard earned money is kept intact, to spend for my loved ones and myself this season.

So, to show my gratitude, when you're coming to town, I can take you to any bar you want. Not in the girly bars though. Not my thing. And I'll tell on you if we do. Mrs. Santa wouldn't be too happy to find that out. Unless I take her along again to her favorite gay bar spot along Timog. 

Oops. I shouldn't have said that.

Sincerely, 

GB Goer

P.S. Oh, and yeah, can you also lower the MD drinks price at White Bird? It's too expensive at P480 plus 10% service charge per drink. I hope they realize that the other bars in that area charge below P400 a drink.

*Merry Christmas to all of you, dear readers! Time to be out of the internet and out of the gay bar. Time to spend with  our families,  friends, loved ones... unless our loved ones involve macho dancers too. 


Learn more: Lessons from Gay Bars in Manila
http://machosandhostos.blogspot.com/
email: char.affairs@gmail.com
twitter: @gbgoer

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Photo credits: http://www.bittenandbound.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/hunky-santa.jpg